Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
hi, I am new here. Need some advice regarding my sex life with my wife.
We have been married for 8 years. We have 2 children. the younger one was born 3 years ago.
the problem is, my wife only likes sex during her fertile time which is 12 days after her period, and it would last about 2-3 days. So i now mark those days on the calendar as they are precious time.
We sometimes have sex on other days but it seems like she is doing me a favor. And that upsets me sometimes, so i recently prefer to masturbate outside her fertility time.
Is it ok to just have sex with wife twice a month? She never asks for sex, and don't like to talk about it, so it's hard to know when she wants it. I found out about the fertility thing through research on the internet.
I have told her that i am sex ready 24/7, even after working out in the gym or after work, or in the middle of night. But that strategy didn't work either, she still wouldn't ask for sex
Is it normal for women to have very low sex drive? Because in the past i have met hornier women.
I have been faithful for 8 years. But worry that the lack of sex can make it hard for me in the future.
What should i do? Please advice
thank you
We have been married for 8 years. We have 2 children. the younger one was born 3 years ago.
the problem is, my wife only likes sex during her fertile time which is 12 days after her period, and it would last about 2-3 days. So i now mark those days on the calendar as they are precious time.
We sometimes have sex on other days but it seems like she is doing me a favor. And that upsets me sometimes, so i recently prefer to masturbate outside her fertility time.
Is it ok to just have sex with wife twice a month? She never asks for sex, and don't like to talk about it, so it's hard to know when she wants it. I found out about the fertility thing through research on the internet.
I have told her that i am sex ready 24/7, even after working out in the gym or after work, or in the middle of night. But that strategy didn't work either, she still wouldn't ask for sex
Is it normal for women to have very low sex drive? Because in the past i have met hornier women.
I have been faithful for 8 years. But worry that the lack of sex can make it hard for me in the future.
What should i do? Please advice
thank you
Things that you can do to help. Help her with house chores, give her more time to herself by taking the kids somewhere for 1/2 day or more. Little things that gives her a break. Setup a time for a weekly play date for both of you.
And it also sounds like your wife is submissive, so it's up to you to set the tone and get it in motion. Nothing wrong with that.
As far as what to do. Check out the various posts on Self-Pleasuring!
Yikes, I hope that's not what marriage is like. Maybe I'm better off single. I'd love to have a wife at some point but if it's going to be sex twice a month I can't see how that is healthy (for me). I was in a relationship where the sex was maybe once a month at most. Sometimes a three month dry spell and sometimes three times a week. I couldn't take it, it brought up a lot of insecurities for me and we ended up bickering all the time over stupid little stuff.
My brother is worried about the same thing. He's been with his girl for 8 years and they are not yet married. She wants marriage, he's not sure. He said the sex between them is equally as infrequent and he revels in my independence and wonders why I'm not sleeping with everything that walks. He has said the same story about his friends that are married, he claims they always bitch because they never get laid anymore and it's messing up the relationship.
This is scary stuff for me. I hope you two can find a way to work things out and meet halfway (if you know what I mean). Yes, maybe help out around the house more so she's not so stressed. But then again, we did see a thread here at one point that said woman are less attracted to men who do housework rather than work on cars or yardwork (manly stuff). Maybe take her out on the town once a month (outside of her schedule) and get a hotel and get dressed up. Make her feel sexy and she might be more willing to give. Maybe this is why hookers and strippers were invented.
How about I swap my wife for yours? She wants sex all the time and It annoys the shit outta me.
A lot of times it feels like a chore, but once I get motivated I enjoy it... She gets pissed off with me but it's not a big deal.
I agree with others, she may just be dog tired, age, physical condition and hormomal balance can all come into play. As far as making a statement about this being ok, that would create another even more taxing question of whether divorce amd child support for two is ok. Jmo
I would say that opening a dialogue on the subject would be a first step. Possibly followed by marriage counselling and maybe a conversation with her doctor on her hormone levels.
Does she have a low energy level in other regards?
:-)
Sometimes I was too worn out or had no juice left in me that she'd just straddle me and grind away while I laid there and she still got off. It's kind of frustrating because I was so deprived before and then it was like 200% on and it was just too much. It got to the point where I was like great, I'm going to have to perform tonight, I wish I could just get stoned and watch the baseball game.