Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

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two kinds of sex

Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
One involving love and one without.

One I fantasize about and the other, I am afraid of.

Moral of the story, it sucks being alone.
koolman
koolman
Sometimes I get lonely and crave genuine warmth, sometimes I could care less about that, and only crave cheesy lust of the flesh, to bust my rocks in, or on, someone.

Right now, I'm kinda somewhere in between (!). Maybe a good time to "get it right", eh?
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
sounds like there are alot of lonely, love starved people in here.

I had a few experiences like Dave17's and felt like shit afterwards.

I was wondering....is it possible to love the sex and hate the person?
deleted_user
deleted_user
absolutely Bob!
koolman
koolman
Yep, it's not only possible, Bob, it happens all the time.

Oh, and sometimes, I don't want love OR sex, and am perfectly happy just being alone!
freakchick3175
freakchick3175
Possible that hating the person makes the sex even better.

I love being in love with my bf... but I love naughty heartless sex too. . I have some pretty wicked fantasies for sure!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I couldn't love the sex but hate the person, I wouldn't have sex with someone I hated, I wouldn't have sex with someone I disliked. I don't have to love the person to have sex but I have to at least like the person.
Dave17
Dave17
I would think this is a difference in understanding the word "hate".

I don't hate very often. I don't even hate my EX wife with everything she is still doing.

I couldn't stand to be in the same room with someone I "hated" let alone touch them in any way.

That said, I have, in the past, had sex with women I don't trust and on a couple of occasions, even women I don't like. Like I was describing earlier, I came to my senses (no pun intended) afterwards and realized that I had just committed an act with someone that I feel should have been for love, but was in fact for carnal lust. I felt cheap, gross and generally disgusted with myself.
Dave17
Dave17
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K0wYDZQXaw

came up on my playlist and it just seemed to fit.
koolman
koolman
Hate and lust: Very fine line there. Sometimes the hate brings out the scumbag in us, so that we'd do things sexually with the one we hate that are too disgusting to do with the one we love, but we get into it 'cuz we really hate each other.

But I see y'all's point: Lust wanes, and then you're just left despising the person, and yourself, for having sex with them.
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