Healthy Sex Support Group

This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.

4,510 Members
18,215 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Healthy Sex Support Group

Reality VS Fantasy

Les-THAN-zero
Les-THAN-zero

Like most men, I had my share of "fun". In my teens if I wasn't having sex I was thinking of having sex. There were so many pretty girls at my school and I planned on bedding them all. In my mind I must have thought of ways to do it not found in any book.


The reality is different, I'd say that 99% of those girls finished school virgins as far as I know.


Guys, especially young ones, tend to think more in numbers, while girls think more terms of real relationships.


My question is: Does your reality come close to your fantasies? For me the answer is, not even close.

MaryContrary
MaryContrary
My love life is practically nonexistant in reality but in my fantasy life, I am loved and cared for. I foolishly think I may have someone some day but that day seems farther away than it did even a year ago.
Joy111
Joy111
This is my 2nd marriage. Both of mine ended the same....they both cheated and had children.
When I married at age 22 I was a virgin.
Was nothing, NOTHING, like I thought it would be.
My 2nd husband was is...whatever...perfectly fine.

In my mind it should be someone that adores me and thinks Im perfectly beautiful. Someone who is proud Im theirs and fights for me. Someone who only wants to be close to me and me alone.
Will I ever get this, most likely not.
Ypoirier
Ypoirier
I'm new to the group and I was scrolling through the post and came across yours. The answer for me would be a hard no,

In reality I am a widow for nearly 3 years, my husband battled cancer for 2 years but we had quit having sex before his cancer due to other health issues. So in reality not much happening for me sex wise but as I masturbate then my fantasies take over and I have a very good sex life with a really good partner who may be a little on the kinky side.
koolman
koolman
Reality has completely shattered my fantasies, and my ego, so many times. Since I don't enjoy being rejected, on the grounds that a woman considers me ugly or the Devil who scares her, and I don't wish to be a rapist, I've relied on my hand and porn for sexual gratification more times than I can count. Of course, this has only fostered the false ego gratification that every woman in the world wants to have sex with me, that variety is the spice of life, that sex is superficial, about visual stimulation, about numbers, about how many different women I can have sex with, whereas the reality is people are more discriminating about who they find attractive, a relationship with one person is more sedate, more deep and ultimately more fulfilling.

The one woman I was with in my real life who I actually liked and found beautiful did not feel the same about me, but she continued to be with me because I helped HER feel beautiful, special, desirable. In short, she was selfish, and that seems to be the reality of human nature--we all use each other for selfish gain. After about 6 months of that, I felt, well, "meh" toward her too and I drifted away from her.
urbangardener
urbangardener
Ah, it was for a while and then real life and various health issues came into play and now it is a no just as you said.
Posts You May Be Interested In