Very true Sapphire. Unfortunately most of society is way too conventional to accept alternative lifestyles. I am all for freedom to do whatever you wish and as long as no one is hurt. I think people are way to hung up on morals and modesty. I see nothing wrong with nudity any where any place, gay marriage, polygamy, polyamory, or any other lifestyle someone chooses.

I guess I am one of a few who has posted that find the idea of sharing someone you love with another person unbearable. I think there is always going to be jealousy and hurt feelings if someone feels neglected or feels like the other one is more important then she is .

I also don't understand how you can love two people equally, so how do you not feel more toward one of them and not show it. I just know personally I have gone through life being told by my mother and stepfathers that I was not wanted, I was never going to be good enough for anyone to love.

So how could I go into a relationship where I would have to share the person I love without thinking it is because I am once again not good enough and he has to have another woman in our relationship.

I would rather be alone then be in that kind of relationship and that is what I have chosen. I did not want to end the relationship in which I I first discovered love. I was forced to make a choice and for my own mental health my choice was no I could not do it.

mermaid the thing is you are loved ...loved by more than one. I total get polygamy and no it is not just some fuck fest. Its when you love and yes you can truly and completely love more than person.

Yes it is totally and completely possible to have a very meaningful relationship this way and in fact can save relationships.... how many relationships are unnecessarily strained or even ruined because a person has been forced to choose between two people they love.

For me it has at times even caused me to consider suicide ..felt it was my only option between hurting two men I loved deeply and knew they would both love me to the end... and that choosing one would hurt the other...and being with both would destroy them both.

I felt like the lowest being because I loved them both completely with all I had.

So I challenge everyone out there to open there minds and consider that the world we all live in presents its self to each person differently..be accepting of what makes others happy and you just may find that there is no such thing as too much love.

What is worse loving to many too much or being destroyed by jealousy?

Look at the original source of this. Males were hunters and gatherers, and were expected to defend their women and children from predators during their child bearing and raising years. Groups of couples formed clans to increase their defense as well as increase their hunting abilities. Sometimes a hunter was killed, and a woman and children were faced with starvation without a provider. A strong male would take in his former partner's family, but the original wife was the alpha female, and the second was left with chores and scraps, which beat the alternative.
Now we are the ultimate predator and have institutionalized families for the protection of the children well as social services. When a man wants 2 or more women, he is being celf-centered and greedy, and truly doesn't care for either women, they are mere possessions, or trophies of his financial success or his sexual "prowess".
So who becomes the "alpha female", who by being legally married, has the right to his resources should he die. Where does that leave the other woman, without resources or a provider, and probably to old to find a suitable mate, much less carrying the burden of her reputation as "the other woman".
A woman would have to be a fool to agree to that sort of arrangement.

I agree with you.

I hate being tied down to one person. I get depressed. I have had two soul mates. Both cheaters and long term fuck me friends.

Some people cant give to more than one person, but I can. Not letting my partner be with who he wants is selfish. i'm happy to share. But, I'm in an open relationship. That doesn't work for most people.... I've always been different.

Seriously, sitting on the same couch with the same person my whole life.... cant think of anything worse. Nothing would bore me more. If we both got excitement elsewhere, it would fuel my desire. Jealousy is an amazing turn on.

I guess I am just not getting it, I have never allowed myself to ever trust and have faith in someone especially a man. This I admit is due to the way I was raised and the enviorment I was exposed to my entire life.

All I ever saw or expierenced was pain, physical and emotional. My mother was married 6 times and they were all addicts who emotionally and physically abused her and us kids. I saw my mother beat until she was put in the hospital many times and she would go right back to him.

So until I let myself let go of those walls I have put up for all those years I never ever let any man get close to me except for sex. So when I did fall in love it is with a man who ends up being married and wants me to be part of a poly relationship with him and his wife.

It made me feel like I wasn't truly loved as I loved him if he had to have two women in his life to satify him. And as JJ said there is always going to be that alpha female no matter what anyone says, and this will cause a power struggle. Hell look how hard it is to live with your mother in law. Jealousy is going to factor in believe me, that is just wired into that kind of situation.

I also want to bring up the circumstances of how you portray yourself to the outside world such as your family, friends and coworkers. You will find most not excepting and could lose family and friends who feel like you have lost your mind and also have settled for a relationship because that is all you can get from the person you love.

And lets play devils advocate and say your the second wife and the first wife's and the husbands family will look at you as the home wrecker no matter what is said and never truly accept you into their family so you will always be the outcast left at home during family and friend functions.

And I would not be able to know my man was in another bedroom 3 days a week having sex with another woman. So yes jealousy, possessiveness and a inability to understand loving more then one person the way I love that person is not something I can understand or ever be a part of.

I don't often agree with JJ, but I think this time he is sort of right - at least the way society works at the moment.

Even if I could accept such an arrangement emotionally, I would have serious concerns about my legal rights, fair division of property in the case of a break-up or a death, coming to a fair agreement about child support, etc etc.

I could quite possibly cope with an arrangement if I were to continue living in my own house, enjoying my own privacy, and effectively being the 'mistress' rather than the 'second wife'.

But from everything that I've seen and heard, all the emphasis on poly relationships seems to be everyone living together in one big happy extended family - might be bliss to some people but it just sounds like my idea of hell on earth lol!

I don't want to live with anybody, although loving more than one person is definitely right up my alley! And I know that I am not in the norm but I have to be true to myself.

Difficult living with one man sometimes never mind with two or another women. Personally I cant get my head round it, but I suppose it is better then going out and having an affair. Marriage needs to be worked out at but I think its worth it, to be able to have that closeness and connection you can have with one person.

the thing is not all polly relationships are ffm there are also mmf and either way legality is an issue because we have become a closed minded society. No longer is there a need to form clans and fight for resources, but it still takes a community to raise a child.

Financially being in a poly relationship is often much better than maintaining 2 households. With the economy being the way it is more and more people are moving their families in with extended families or adding room mates anyway. Even the two income household is having a hard time making it, living together means one phone bill, one tv bill and internet bill all of the resources are stretched.

I'm not in a poly relationship right now but I know several families who have been living that way for many years. So many things are better, so many things are easier, and ultimately every ones needs are better met. I envy these people and I'm sure that had my partners in the past been open to sharing me in more than a sexual way I would have been happier and we would have had a better relationship.

Some people are made for the mog relationship and that is respectful too...but some of us truly struggle with the concept and fight hard to live within rules and guidelines that do not fit us well, a truly loving relationship people can honestly discuss all their wishes and desires without fear or feeling the need to lie or hide.

Penn and Teller tackled that, I think this is the episode
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=penn+and+teller+family+values&search_type=&aq=f
I think it sounds great. I know most people will never be that open with themselves or their partner to accept it.

I think people always want to control the very personal aspects of their partners and there is very little getting away from that. If you dont have a partner comfortable w/ that then that's that.

LOL I agree that putting up with one woman is bad enough but having two would be a real pain. On the other hand, at least a guy wouldn't be bored since he would have two women to choose from so he would not get bored and tired of the same old same old.

After a while its like eating plain oatmeal every day for the rest of your life... LOL I can see why guys stray looking for something different.

I can see that this post is old but I have a lot of experience with this topic. I am in a polyamorous relationship and have been for almost two years now. I have been with my husband for 10 years and we were completely happy. We met our "wife" as we think of her and both fell in love with her. We all three live together and are all happier than we have ever been. We are not swingers as we are all faithful only to each other. We have all told our families about our situation and they all reacted differently. My husband and my familes have accepted her as part of the family although it did take them some time to adjust. Her family on the other hand hates the situation and are just now coming out of the denial stage. They absolutley hate me but love our husband. We all live in a very small town and get some strange looks from time to time and some comments but nothing more than that. Our friends have all been extremely accepting. The thought of this typr of relationship was never even a thought for me but the day we all realized we loved each other we never thought about looking back. It takes some major adjustment and you can't be a jealous person in the slightest or it will be too painful.

In my opinion this is the best type of relationship I have ever experienced but it is not foreveryone that's for sure.

If your in the right relationship, it wont feel like only one channel. It will be like Satellite with HBO, Cinamax, and those naughty PPV included! lol

But in all reality, I do think you can love with more than one person at a time, but I do not believe you can be IN LOVE with more than one person at a time! So if its true love, you wont need any one else....

I've always beleived that poly would be the way for me to be truly fulfilled romantically. i've tried it. and it hasn't worked out. but then again i've tried traditional relationships and it hasn't worked out.

thought i had found the right "two", had so many dreams, and turned out she wasn't being honest. she couldn't deal

it takes the right people, and what are the odds of that?