Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
I'm a guy. I am a stereo typical guy. I am perfectly fine with this. If you are offended that I don't think like a woman, refer to my first statement. I love women. I FREAKING LOVE WOMEN. I also love to perform what profanity sensitive persons refer to as "oral sex." I, on the other hand, like to eat pussy. For the remainder of the conversation, I will censor myself as best I can because I'm an offensive person. Allow me to apologize now for my bluntness and lack of tact. Now, the desire and damn near obsession with performing the aforementioned act.
I love going down on a girl. I always have. So much so that I would actually reach climax myself if I was doing a good job (I pay attention, I know when it's getting good). But here's where things start taking a dive. Not once. Not mutha fu**in once has a woman allowed me to go down on her until she herself reaches climax. Ladies. . . WHAT THE HELL??? I don't know a single guy on this planet who would have an issue with having an orgasm due to oral sex. But not one, not one single, solitary woman has allowed me that pleasure. It's always, "Wait, stop. Come here."
"Why? Am I doing THAT bad?"
"No, just come here."
And then we just have sex for the 5 minutes she has left until reaching a climax. Ladies, it's frustrating. And it's going to take a hell of an excuse to make me feel better about this. Yes, my morale is dropping. Along with the desire to keep doing this. I get that I'm not supposed to be taking it personal but I'M TAKING IT FRIGGIN PERSONAL. It's like having your spouse tell you that you're wonderful but they're dumping you anyway.
This might help guide responses: friends with benefits, not a long term relationship or anything. And yes, I've asked her about it to no avail.
Sincerely yours,
Frustrated Brasco
I love going down on a girl. I always have. So much so that I would actually reach climax myself if I was doing a good job (I pay attention, I know when it's getting good). But here's where things start taking a dive. Not once. Not mutha fu**in once has a woman allowed me to go down on her until she herself reaches climax. Ladies. . . WHAT THE HELL??? I don't know a single guy on this planet who would have an issue with having an orgasm due to oral sex. But not one, not one single, solitary woman has allowed me that pleasure. It's always, "Wait, stop. Come here."
"Why? Am I doing THAT bad?"
"No, just come here."
And then we just have sex for the 5 minutes she has left until reaching a climax. Ladies, it's frustrating. And it's going to take a hell of an excuse to make me feel better about this. Yes, my morale is dropping. Along with the desire to keep doing this. I get that I'm not supposed to be taking it personal but I'M TAKING IT FRIGGIN PERSONAL. It's like having your spouse tell you that you're wonderful but they're dumping you anyway.
This might help guide responses: friends with benefits, not a long term relationship or anything. And yes, I've asked her about it to no avail.
Sincerely yours,
Frustrated Brasco
some basic background...I have changed a lot because of aging. I'm 58 or so. lol.
was married 31 years to a man who LOVED, was obsessed with oral sex, but only FOR himself.
He did not like to do it to me. He did at first then complained and did not want to again. That was sad for me.
I had totally forgotten what it could be like until he passed away and I began my FWB relationship with a younger man. OMG.
doing it to me was the very very first thing that happened on our first time together.
I thought I was going to scream (bc it had been so long and it felt good) my body almost could not stand the pleasure!
anyway I smile a lot now.
All my neighbors and friends ask what is different about you? You sure are happy now.
Yep.
So it turns out my FWB guy, having "69" is his absolute favorite thing.
which is great but sometimes I want to do it to him only , or take turns then do it his favorite way.
just because I enjoy giving it and well, probably because I am used to doing that that way after so many years.
Plus this will sound stupid maybe but my whole life , before , during and after marriage, I have always been shy about a guy giving me oral sex.
Like I could not push away annoying thoughts of I don't know how to let go, my Catholic upbringing and nuns scaring me to committing sins, etc.....(kind of joking but not entirely)
I just was shy.
it is my new guy that really wants to do it, with me on top , which was formerly my most shy , out of comfort zone thing....was/is so wonderful about making me feel secure and safe and sexy all at the same time....
I feel like my good karma finally kicked in. :-)
I remember when I hesitated , he said something like don't worry, don't be shy.
He is just so understanding and says things in a way that makes me feel absolute trust , no pressure.
If I said no, about anything he does not try to force me.
Which ironically makes me want to.
The way he is actually has worked out for him because he is so understanding I have given up all my last remnants of shyness and things I had formerly refused to do all my life.
oh and my whole life, before this relationship , when I was not comfortable with receiving oral sex, ( It happened, but I always had mixed feelings of liking it but feeling awkward ) , I was also too uncomfortable to admit why.
(the Catholic scare tactics , especially my Mother, really did a number on me.)
while we are talking about this, can I add, guys using their fingers /thumb down there, please do not be so rough with that either, unless she is obviously liking how rough it is.
had to squeeze that in !