Love is definitely measured in sex for me... I am a caring person though, wouldn't let my partner know that their lack of sexual desire has a direct impact on me.

But if you felt unloved wouldnt you want them to know?

If she is happy, I would try and find ways to encourage the sexual part, find out and investigate her sexual pleasure points... By the way... sometimes this means spending quality time.. doing things she likes to do.. everything in preparation for the sexual experience... for most Indian women, emotion is totally tied to sexual pleasure, if I piss her off, definitely not going experience a night of explosive sex.

i don't exactley measure love in terms of sex...but i do find myself measuring my own selfworth by his desire to have sex.

i.e...if he's not wanting it as often as he used to, it must be because i've gained a few pounds and am not as attractive.

a complete fallacy, i know...but it is how my mind works.

Well I am single so I can't speak for a married man, perhaps his lack of sexual desire is due more to distractions of life, now he has this goal to take care of the home so he works harder and comes home tired... just guessing here.. if you have kids I'm sure that would be a distraction too..

Thats pretty much what I mean ldmay.I wasnt sure how to word it exactly..sometimes if the sex isnt often I feel like its because he is not interested in me-as a whole person,KWIM?

exactly. i am way too sensitive of things like that. infrequent sex means i'm fat, i'm ugly, he doesn't care about me. yup...i'm an overanalyzer! lol

Me too...Are we twins and dont know it??LOL..

it is a bit uncanny isn't it? lol

Its funny..At least I know someone understands what I am talking about (not that I want anyone else to feel that way)

agreed! i feel so close to everyone here, i feel that each person has some quality that i learn and grow from everyday!

i just have such major self esteem issues, i can turn ANY variation from the routine that i'm accustomed to, into something being wrong with me. A weakness I'm trying to overcome...

Do you also "create" problems that arent even there?

oh geez...thats my specialty!

i was taking antidepressants for awhile, and they helped me keep things in proper perspective, but they also made me feel so tired all the time, so i chose to deal with my issues with out them.

Me too.Plus I think they made me gain weight and I didnt want to take them while I was pregnant and honestly I just dont want to have to depend on them everyday for the rest of my life.

weight gain...check!

i've never been preggo...but i sure don't want to depend on any drug for the rest of my life!

i think my biggest issue is my lack of comfort in talking with my husband about my problems. if i could somehow overcome that fear, i think i'd be a lot happier.