I'm in the same situation jimmysquirrel. I've been married for 15 years (in Aug). Before marriage we had sex all the time, then after it got less frequent now it non exsistant. she said basically the same thing as your wife and more. Its been 1.5 years since the last encounter and it lasted about 10 minutes or less, after she said "satisfied now, that should hold you"

This is bad... I knew that when I felt this way about my husband, it was time to get out. I never said that to him.

We had many many issues... His disrespectful and inconsiderate and selfish behaviors and attitudes (childish) caused me loose respect for him. I did everything I could to work on the marriage, when I realized I was alone in the relationship, I my love, respect and attraction was gone for him. I felt insane.
I admit I treated my now Ex similarly.. He really brought the worst out in me.
I didn't like me:
1.because I was so angry all of the time.
2. because by staying I was accepting his attitude and behaviors toward me.
I hope you do what is best for you. Get out. No body deserves to be treated that way
Hugs

Did she ever enjoy sex (with you or anyone)? Does she know how to take care of herself? Did you have sex before marriage? Or was she a virgin?

This could totally be a medical problem.
Or totally an emotional one for herself.
Or a relationship problem.

Medically, if it's hormones.....it can be helped.

Emotionally, depression, anxiety, or stress can completely take away a sex drive. There are ways that she can learn how to cope, and you can learn how to support her.

If it's relationship....than counseling.

Any, or all three of these issues are only going to get more difficult to deal with with time.

Any, or all three of these, will make it difficult for her to get help. So don't "ask"....Make the appointments.

I agree with Patti... I know its easier said than done, but try not to take it so personally when you talk to her about it. Try to find out why. What's going on with her. Is she on any kind of birth control? That can have an effect on drive and how your body (doesn't ) respond to arousal. Counseling and/or a sex therapist would be good. You don't want this to be the rest of your future with her.

......um , sorry to say this , but she really don't wanna do it with you. There could be lots of reasons though and maybe even depression being one of them. I'm sure that comment killed any sexual feelings that you may have had for her though.

first off, ty for the replies. second, sorry it took so long to reply, i forget about DS at times(majority of time). Background - i have always had a higher sex drive than her, but shortly before marriage it too k a nose dive, i kept getting answers to questions about our lack of sex life with things like, "I'll wanna do it more after we get married." As well as she started treating sex as something distasteful. I do believe that she has developed a sexual dysfunction for whatever reason, and now refuses to get help on that. We are going to couples counseling(which she said would improve our sex life... it didn't).

And hairy mick. kindly bugger off. i have earned my big boy pants.
I am in a bad marriage. My wife doesn't want me, my health is in disarray because of a chemical exposure while in the service of our great country.
I don't know why my wife has no respect or want for me though it is more and more evident that she doesn't.
I am a dutiful husband and a good man. I go out of my way to be accommodating and to try to show her affection.
I also did stand up to her, then came here to vent because well, it fucking hurt. As well it should when your mate tells you that you are so repulsive that they can't stand you.

I have pretty much come to the conclusion that if things don't improve(not only in the bedroom) i am gone. We have been going to counseling and whilethere has been some improvement in our relationship, nowhere near enough given that she still can't touch me.
My duty as a husband is to do me best by here, and that includes giving time for things to work. If she is willing to get help, then i will stay, but if not. The end of this year will be the end of a terrible chapter in my life.

change "me best by here" to, "my best by her"

Good then it sounds like you are making sure you are doing everything you can do to make the marriage work, so that you do not have any regrets later...
I will say this, the only regret I have is staying in the marriage as long as I did. It was never going to work with only one person in it.
Thanks for the update.

My regret is that he made the divorce decision without as much as a discussion.
Please talk it out. There should be some kind of joint decision. Does she understand how hurt and upset you are?

there has been discussion,. and discussion.many discussions. now it is time to see if any of it sticks. My marriage was crap before she said this. She can not bring herself to trust me for some reason(i am not a cheat, liar, or philanderer). I hadn't realized that she did not trust me until about 2 months ago, and that night i cried quite a bit. Due to realizing that while there is love(at least on my part), we don't have a foundation. I am working on it, but one can't get trust overnight. If she can learn to trust me, then i see us being able to work things out. if not... all i see is pain.

This still just strikes me as incredible. I mean for sex to fall apart 5-10-15 years down the line, that sadly happens, but it's usually due to problems that come up in the relationship.

But from the start?

I guess my heart just really goes out to you. It's not fair. You and everyone else at least deserves a nice honeymoon.

She may suffer from abandonment personality disorder.. Look it up and see if the symptoms fit her. It is hard to work through unless you know it exists, and many doctors/therapists just treat most of the symptoms as if they are depression or other well known diseases.
/disorders.