Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
renaissancedragoness
I am a passionate lover with a big sex drive and even after being married 10 yrs, I still am very attracted to my husband. He never had a big sex drive with me but tolerated sex for my sake about once per week - at least he used to.
To make matters worse he's an alcoholic so he's unconscious by 9:30ish every night. The funny thing is he very easily gets and keeps an erection but mentally could care less about having sex with me...like ever. I'm lucky if we make love 1 once every 2 months. He doesn't hold back making comments about the hot women we see on tv, and he does say I'm beautiful and sexy often, but I'm lucky if he so much as kisses me.
Lately it's been even worse. The last time we made love (which was actually more like an animalistic quicky with no foreplay or kissing whatsoever because he clearly wanted to get over with) was before Christmas and Feb is almost over.
On Valentines Day we planned to have an "intimate" night but long story short, he avoided it like the plague and purposely fell asleep in his chair instead of joining me in bed. He's not mad at me. Hes affectionate as far as hugging and groping over the clothes briefly, but this has gone far beyond sexual frustration and I am depressed and heart broken. And yes, I've tried seducing him with lingerie, being spontaneous, dirty dancing, even watching porn with him, but nothing works.
To be clear, I am in love with him and won't leave him - unless he's cheating on me which I see as a possibility. Any advice on how to seduce a man with no libido? (feeling hopeless)
To make matters worse he's an alcoholic so he's unconscious by 9:30ish every night. The funny thing is he very easily gets and keeps an erection but mentally could care less about having sex with me...like ever. I'm lucky if we make love 1 once every 2 months. He doesn't hold back making comments about the hot women we see on tv, and he does say I'm beautiful and sexy often, but I'm lucky if he so much as kisses me.
Lately it's been even worse. The last time we made love (which was actually more like an animalistic quicky with no foreplay or kissing whatsoever because he clearly wanted to get over with) was before Christmas and Feb is almost over.
On Valentines Day we planned to have an "intimate" night but long story short, he avoided it like the plague and purposely fell asleep in his chair instead of joining me in bed. He's not mad at me. Hes affectionate as far as hugging and groping over the clothes briefly, but this has gone far beyond sexual frustration and I am depressed and heart broken. And yes, I've tried seducing him with lingerie, being spontaneous, dirty dancing, even watching porn with him, but nothing works.
To be clear, I am in love with him and won't leave him - unless he's cheating on me which I see as a possibility. Any advice on how to seduce a man with no libido? (feeling hopeless)
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Try suggesting marriage counseling or sex counseling and see if he goes for it. If not, that could be a red flag and you will have to make a decision sooner or later if you want to continue not being sexually satisfied when you need to be.
Good Luck!
Hmm, so before he starts drinking, and nothing arouses him? Does he work? How can he go to work hung over everyday?
sounds like he could be severely depressed?
For a man, thats not nearly enough...
I have concluded that my husband is either asexual or gay. It is possible that his testosterone is low too. Either way he has not put in any effort to fix this problem.
You mentioned that your husband drinks alcohol. I know that alcohol will hurt a man's ability to perform.
Sorry again about what you are going through. I know it hurts.