Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Hi all!
I am having issues with my husband, he suffers from impotence and has to use viagra daily, we like to have sex every morning and sometimes during the day. ( we both work from home!)
anyway my issue is with me really, its hard to explain, when we are making love he loses his erection when he enters me after a few minutes. This is not only frustrating but also makes me feel that I dont feel good to him. Im struggling with not feeling rejected. It puts me off getting to my orgasm to be hnest, Im so busy thinking about his deflating willy I cant just enjoy myself!
ALso the other issue is his technique...now I have discussed this with my girlfriends and we agree that one of the ways to reach orgasm is to stimulate and be touching the clitoris...right, no debate there. I am used to my other lovers grinding his pubic bone into my clitoris to make me cum. Now this seems to follow with all my past lovers....is that right guys/girls?!
My current lover says its an issue with me and he has never had problems making women cum. Im pretty sure his technique is way off as he hardly gets near my clitoris during intercourse!! let alone get to the bump n grind bit!!! Ive already had to beg for foreplay before intercourse, he used to just shove himself into me! So Im super frustrated with him. ( apart from being cross that he feels its my problem!) His body just doesnt get near enough to mine in any position, feels like hes like holding back from me. No matter how hard I try and bump n grind on him he doesnt seem to get it!
Now I know egos are fragile here - how can I correct his technique?!! without freaking him out obviously the deflating willy doesnt help either!!!
aaaargh!!!!
I am having issues with my husband, he suffers from impotence and has to use viagra daily, we like to have sex every morning and sometimes during the day. ( we both work from home!)
anyway my issue is with me really, its hard to explain, when we are making love he loses his erection when he enters me after a few minutes. This is not only frustrating but also makes me feel that I dont feel good to him. Im struggling with not feeling rejected. It puts me off getting to my orgasm to be hnest, Im so busy thinking about his deflating willy I cant just enjoy myself!
ALso the other issue is his technique...now I have discussed this with my girlfriends and we agree that one of the ways to reach orgasm is to stimulate and be touching the clitoris...right, no debate there. I am used to my other lovers grinding his pubic bone into my clitoris to make me cum. Now this seems to follow with all my past lovers....is that right guys/girls?!
My current lover says its an issue with me and he has never had problems making women cum. Im pretty sure his technique is way off as he hardly gets near my clitoris during intercourse!! let alone get to the bump n grind bit!!! Ive already had to beg for foreplay before intercourse, he used to just shove himself into me! So Im super frustrated with him. ( apart from being cross that he feels its my problem!) His body just doesnt get near enough to mine in any position, feels like hes like holding back from me. No matter how hard I try and bump n grind on him he doesnt seem to get it!
Now I know egos are fragile here - how can I correct his technique?!! without freaking him out obviously the deflating willy doesnt help either!!!
aaaargh!!!!
Im liking that idea!
THANK YOU KIND SIR!!!
x
How long have you been married? I think ,marriage counseling might be in order here.
Has it always been this way? Not to sound shallow but if anyone I dated treated me like that there is no way in hell I would be married to him.
Is there a PHYSICAL reason for his ED? Is it psychological?
I have spent a life time being treated like crap and I don't know...I would cut my loses and move on.
I see a few options:
1) Have a serious talk with him about it. (you did that to no avail)
2) Marriage counselor and/or sex therapist
3) The possibility of both of you agreeing to having an open marriage where you can get your sexual needs met elsewhere. That's a long shot and not something you might not even want to consider but it's an option that works for some.
4) Since talking with him has done nothing, if you try counseling and that does nothing, you need to decide if you can accept him and your sex life "as is" without holding grudges and resentments towards him or move on.
If it were me and nothing changed after talking and after counseling, he makes no effort to change and consider my feelings, I'd be out the door.
does he have physical ailments heart problems. blood clots ,diabetes, injuries, ect.
there a a large number of reasons for limpness.
psychological is 1,
a friend of mines bro inlaw, never had a 'hard 1 '
even on his weddin night,
his was a psychological issue,
he thought it was normal to have a floppy one until the 'big night'
He takes it once a day, he can't bear the thought that he cant get an erection when he wants to.... I can understand that. Sex has been a big issue in his life. He left his last wife ( his third!) because of lack of bedroom action - well not after having affairs for ten or so years that is. Dont respect him for that.
Im not up for an open marriage, its very important to me to have a joyous and giving sexual relationship with my partner....which is how I ended up here, sometimes you cant see the wood for the trees so to speak! ya know - cant think clearly about things, Im so wrapped up in him. Hes very controlling, Im here for him as he wont allow me to work or have my own car etc.
We have been together for about two years, married for 5 months. I relocated to be with him so I had already thrown my lot in with him. Guess I was rather blind to reality here. siiigh yes I know it.
Ive been a fool but I made the commitment to him and want to make it the best it can be, and if after trying things are still the same then... ..its not happy ever after...
Im not happy with him treating me that way but feel helpless as he wont listen for sure I know what you are saying.
But Im here, I married the guy and need to at least try.
Also I have no job. no money and no where to go!
So while I try and save some funds and give myself some options then in the meantime I want to work on this.
I am not sure his version of love is the same as mine.
I made a serious error in judgement the day I moved to be with him. Its my own fault but Im commited to him and to trying to make it better - maybe Im not communicating my needs in a way he understands..?!
He is the guy you describe exactly - sure as hell doesnt take any criticism so I was hopig for some tips on how to handle him in a way he would understand and not flip out over!
I should add I am at the point where if he abuses me again Im walking, no matter no money job or anywhere to go. Im not standing for it again....
x
Thanks though.
isnt there Levitra too - hes tried them too.
x
apparently the licence for Viagra runs out soon so it will soon be cheaper....
I'm a firm believer in commitment and trying every avenue possible to make a relationship a strong, healthy relationship, to fix what needs to be fixed but it takes both partners putting forth the effort. One partner can't fix relationship problems on her/his own, it takes both partners working together as a team to fix problems.
He also made a commitment to you but by disregarding your thoughts, your feelings, your needs, he's not living up to his commitment.
x
They are wonderful!