Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Hi everyone, new here.
I have been with my now husband for 7 years, married 2. He is amazing as far as a provider, humble, easy going, hard working. Doesn't argue, or would ever put his hands on me. Accepted my 2 sons fully.
The sex with him is not good. No passion. Very routine, no spark, nothing.
I have always been a "freak" if you will. Very spontaneous, will try just about anything. Very high sex drive and I love sex with passion. He has none of this and it has made me conform to his boring ways but I get so sexually frustrated and I start to think of a old flame I was involved with before I got married. Me and this guy has the most amazing sexual chemistry, it's beyond this world, seriously. He reaches out to me all the time but I want to honor my vows.
I have no idea how to handle this
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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Talk to him. never stop talking to him.
Focus on your hobbies, focus on your health, focus on your inner spirit and soul.
Make a point about talking about your childhood with him and asking about his.
If you do not have one, start a daily journal, write your deep secrets, and allow it to be read by him if he wants.
Do not allow yourself to destroy your soul by allowing sin to enter your marriage.
If you need to - tell him about these temptations of sin outside of your marriage.
pray - read the bible,
Love him in away you are not afraid to lose him.
Be safe and healthy
This is a tough situation, since you knew how your husband was sexually before you married him, and you still chose him. Try your best to put some spark into your relationship with him. You will have to make the first move, the first effort.
Give your husband a chance. Don't start thinking outside the marriage. That will only bring huge trouble, and do you really want to hurt your husband like that... Think about what if he found out, how would he feel? He might not only divorce you, but also take custody of your kids from a previous relationship!
Not judging, just giving you things to think about. Think before you act.
It is just tempting thoughts. I don't by any means want to hurt my husband in that way at all but I also can't talk to him about it. He is 12 years older than I am. He's 48, I'm 36. He doesn't always get erect or can stay erect, when he does, sex last about 2 minutes and it's always doggy style. He's tried pills, meditation, therapy. Nothing works. He said he has always been that way since he lost his virginity.
I'm missing out on foreplay, different positions, kissing everywhere, doing it at anytime and anywhere. It's so planned and routine
If he is a great guy and you love him, you could tell him that you love him greatly but need sex and ask him if he has suggestions. Or, you could say nothing and masturbate. Or dump him and maybe have a good sex life but miss out on other good things.
Sometimes when people talk and really communicate good things happen. Maybe he has a good libido but ED and PE issues. If so, remenber that there is more to sex than intercourse.