it got to chilly to quick here too. hope it warms up a bit. want to seal the driveway...sigh, I think I waited to long. Had a hot July with no rain,why didn't I do it then? damn damn damn.. I have been a last minute Lucy with lots of things lately.

I'll take some of that chilly weather. It's triple digits here AGAIN, with no end in sight. I'm so freaking sick of this heat.

In other news, how the hell am I going to get my 3rd-grader to grasp rounding numbers? She was fine when it was rounding to the tens, but now that it's involving the 100's and 1000's, she's all lost and confused. Grrrr. And I feel like a broken record at this point. Very frustrating.

Ate a Hot Pocket, now time for more CoD.

PS3 or XBOX? My PS3 went down again, something about corrupted data. Any idea on how to fix it? I dont want to spend 150 bucks to send it in.

I prefer my shooters on Xbox. As for how to fix it, I have no clue. Never had an issue with my 40GB fatboy or my slim model.

I thought I'd be fine with my baby being a cam model, but I never thought he'd actually get approved. I'm having random anxiety for no damn reason. I mean, sure it will only be for however long per day, but I'm gonna miss waking up and getting on Skype with him. I also wish he woulda jerked on cam for me before doing this, I guess that's where my anxiety is coming from. This just sucks in my opinion and there is nothing I can do except support him in this. I mean he NEEDS the money and I don't wanna hold him back on that.

In better events, someone on Xbox Live had the gamertag "InfectedTwinkie". lulz

This random anxiety has me crying. GOD DAMMIT! Why am I crying over the fact that my bf never fapped for me on Skype, but yet he's willing to be a cam model and jerk for people on cam? WOW! This just plain out sucks. I need someone to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be alright. BUT NO! He isn't here to hold me. On top of this shit he signed out of Skype. Why IDK, that's what he said he was gonna do, and he did. I just need to talk to him and have him here holding me. I can't even bring myself to tell him what I'm having anxiety about.

So.. I basically spill my guts to him in a pm on facebook. Hopefully he will read it soon. I just don't get how he never wants to fap for me but will do it for random people for money.

recon-------------that may be the problem. he could very well see camming as something totally non-sensual and tawdry and THAT is the reason why he doesnt want to do it with you. he views it at cheap and does not view YOU as cheap.

lots of men like to watch porn of certain acts, but would never want to do that act with their wives or anything because they view it at sleazy and dont want to view their wife that way.

Still des, to me it's like having sex. You won't have sex with your girlfriend yet you're willing to do porn or whore yourself. That's the way I was viewing this last night.

Homework...go shove it!!!!

Two tests on Friday, another one on Thursday, and a couple assigns due tomorrow. So exciting!

IDK why my baby has to log off Skype for after doing a show. I asked him why and apparently he logged out before he could read me asking why. I just wish we were living together, because this not talking to him doesn't help. I'm feeling down from grandma passing and that's why it hit me so hard last night, and me not knowing why he has to log out doesn't really help either.

recon-----------well. the time may be coming again for you to re-evaluate this relationship and where you want it to go and boundaries. kwim? maybe you shouldnt be committed until you are living together since it is causing so much strain on you?

on a side note, he may be REQUIRED to log out of everything to work. lots of places require that so he isnt giving away "free" shows.

although i do agree, i think its total bs he hasnt showed you everything on cam yet.

Well I won't have to worry anymore cause he can't do shows on 4G internet, though he tried. His show froze up. So unless he can get highspeed internet he's gonna have to find something else.