Damn Reminder, when someone asks how you are doing do you always say fine? Or are you honest and tell the person that you didn't get laid, you are constipated, maybe have some ED issues, maybe you wiped your ass to hard after eating jalepeno chile so your bunger is on fire. Are you that honest with people? Not sure if you are married or have a girlfriend, or maybe a boyfriend, but if they ask you how they look before you go out, are you really honest with them? do you tell them how they really look with all their flaws, pointing out all the details to be really honest with them?

You said it, you just commented to add gas to a fire that was not even a fire. It was a discussion about a completely different issue.

Well done. Feel better about being so honest? Not being correct though I might add...

I will honestly say that Beauty is truly on the inside and anyone that say's real women or men are this way or that is completely FULL OF SHIT!

Real women are real and fake women are fake its all in the personality and not the body shape.

I concider myself a real man. I really fucking hate being pigon holed and told that I have to be this way or that to be a real man.

As a real man I .
Take care of my partner.
Share responsibilities.
Open doors and always try to be curtious.
I defend my lady and family with my life.
I work hard to support them and pay the bills.
I spend time as a father with my boys and represent to them what a real father is.

I AM 6 FT AND 320LBS so I am a large man. I have been working on my weight and trying to get skinny, but since I have always been large I don't have a good chance of ever getting to skinny.

Just remember that when you piggion hole someone into a stereotype then you will hurt feelings and not to mention most likely make a liar out of yourself as there are a lot of real men and women in the world, but there are even more fakes out there. :)

Truth is always HURT! So who really wants to hear it?
At one point in my life years ago a ballooned to size 36. From my normal168 to 203 pond. Bread ,rice, potato, lamb chops, grapes and ice cream did the trick real well. But next to that i did 45 minutes on the elliptical every day. So i never had a second that i have a problem . Changed my clothes, so what attitude. Finally my vision got blurred after meals, and i had the most incredible pulsing MIGRAINE in the back of my head as i was ejaculating when i had sex with the x-wife. Only lasted as long as the ejaculation but was extremely painful of 15 second.My eye balls were caving inward in the same time..

So i had to go to a Dr. I that i am healthy as i had no problem to pedal 45 min on a machine.So i had elevated sugar levels.I had to drop all that food from my diet , i bought the book Sugarbusters for my Dr suggestion. Dropped 35 pound in 5 months with out any effort.
So i was playing with my health , my heart, my blood vessels , my eye sight and i was clue less.

This days i buy Zero ice cream even as i love it. No Coconut cream pies as i use to eat the whole pie in on sit, no Kit Kat...what i just LOOOOVE to death. See takes lots of self control to maintain.I eat raisins for kill my sugar hunger as i really love sweets. but the calories are so packed up i decided not worthed to eat the sucker because take to long to shed it off.I seen my X wife the other day for 15 sec. She plumped up alright the 2 bottle a night wine habit shows no doubt.

Personally i think honesty can be a wake up call , no one told me not even my own mother i was getting bulky. She told me years later.So what i was better off like that? Keeping the weight off or under control takes lots of diseplent.Nothing is free in life.I have walked both end so i got some experience.My mother lives on cholesterol drugs, blood pressure meds, sugar pills , and i just don't want to fallow her path. It is the harsh reality. Today i only take Arginine. No other pills , meds of any kind.And i hope i don't have to for a long time to come.

I stand by my last comment. And so agree with LostSoul. And when you are married and have kids and responsibilities, it is not as easy to have everything the way you want it, unless you care only about yourself and how you look, which would be very sad. A lot of attractiveness comes from who a person is inside and how they treat people and the life the live and sacrifices that they make. There is nothing more unattractive then a self centered narcissistic person who looks great on the outside, has perfect weight, and may look good in a picture, but in person they are a shell with no beauty inside.

What you talking about is true love , to grow on someone with time. But initially the physical attraction what brings people together. And that is what the main post is all about. Pure animalistic attraction sometimes as it happened to me. My X moved in with me in 3 days and we got married in 21 days. I think i hold DS record record on this one!. Got divorced in 5 years. Fuck me!

To be honest, I've sometimes wished I had a little more weight, a few more curves, but it never seems to go where I want it. We women are great at picking ourselves, and each other, apart. That's not the sort of thing a friend does, though. As long as you eat right (and I mean alot by that, eating the right things, not eating too much, and not eating too little) and keep in shape, you will be beautiful, in that unique way that is truly YOU, and that's what men are really attracted to, I think.

Gotta love the delete friend option. But not before bitching her out first.

Self confidence is mighty important for both sexes. To know who you are and what do you deserve as your counter part.

I disagree Compleatly Reminder.

I met someone years ago on DS that was the absolute love of my life. She was perfect in every way imaginable to me. I was in love with her for her total image (NOT Physical at all because I had never seen her not even in a picture).

Her physical image had nothing to do with any of it. We talked for almost a year before meeting and every day the love became stronger. I did see pictures here and there of her , but they had NO bearing on my feelings for her. She was already beautiful in my eyes and heart by the time I saw her pictures.

Things didnt work out for reasons outside of my control. She remains a beautiful woman in my mind none the less and always will be.

For the record she was absolutly beautiful to me when we did meet. She was a larger woman with curves in physical appearance only. She has since had GBS surgery and lost a lot of weight , but to me it never mattered , because her inner beauty shined through so bright that her out apearance made no differance in how I felt. Most women are beautiful in there own way! Its the ones that are superficial and stuck on themselves that are ugly. The ones that only care about there image.

I do agree that self confidence is very important too ! I was disagreeing with your previous post.

For me, I agree with Lost that the outside, the physical is not what I'm attracted to, not even in the beginning or when first meeting. For some it is what they're first attracted to and it does matter, for others it's not.

I look for who the person is on the inside regardless of what he looks like. If I like what I see inside then I am going to like what I see on the outside and I'll be attracted to him in all ways, physically and emotionally.

A partner with confidence in himself, good self-esteem and self-respect is very important to me. I'm a confident person with good self-esteem and self-respect and that's what I need in a partner also.

When I was young and imature, I only wanted women who had the perfect body. I once swore that I would never have sex with anyone who was older than me or over weight. How foolish I was. There are a lot of men who know that a woman's worth is not in her dress size, or how big her breasts are or whether she has a perfect ass or not. We know that a woman's worth is what is in her heart and in her head. Those who think otherwise have a great deal of disappointment awaiting them in life.

"The person inside" Ha...Now the reason people divorces years after because they finally get to know the person inside.Everyone is nice on the beginning and puts on their best behaviors. The only way to get to know someone is to live with the person. The first always the look even if it is sound shallow. Yes some folks like big curvy woman, i use to go with my friend to Curb's Party's in LA...I have seen how many skinny guys were attracted to larger woman. But that is not the average, as have not seen Large Miss America or Miss World Pageant on tv yet either as there are some very famous large clothes models are out there. Yes i know it is all about the support but it is better to say "thats nice"? And one more observation..most larger woman has incredibly beautiful faces.

That's not always the reason for divorce. Stbxh and I are getting divorced (34 years married, 27 wonderful years) but our divorce has nothing to do with who either of us is on the inside. I highly respect him and who he is, I always will and the same goes for him towards me, neither of us was ever unfaithful, mean or abusive towards each other and we were never dishonest or hid who we really are, not even in the beginning.

From the beginning of a relationship, from the first time I meet someone, I am who I am, the person I'm with sees all of me, my good sides and my not so good sides, I hide nothing. What you see is what you get. I do not put on some "act" and haven't been with a long-term partner that put on some act in the beginning. I do not try to impress a partner by pretending I'm someone I'm not and haven't been with anyone that has done that. My thoughts are love and accept me for who I am, as I am or walk away.

I agree with having to live with someone before knowing everything about them, all their habits, quirks, how they handle different situations, disagreements, etc. and knowing if you can live with and love everything about them including their faults and them knowing if they can live with and love everything about you including your faults but I don't agree that "everyone" puts on an act or tries to hide their "not so good points" in the beginning of a relationship and you don't know the "real" person inside until living together.

Physical attraction was not what I was attracted to with stbxh or my partner I'm with now. With my partner, we met on-line (not a dating site) and I had no idea what he looked like until months later and I already had very strong feelings for him and him for me. With stbxh, his looks were complete opposite of the type of guy that I would be initially attracted to if looks were of any importance to me.

That's just how I am and who I am.

We can talk about YOU ...or the society in WHOLE. The way generally most people thinks. Subjects are always up to interpretation, but the exceptions are always makes the rules stronger. look at the strip joints, skinny chicks with huge mounds, eye candies sort of speak, not all the woman are beauty queen but they are in good shape otherwise no one would give them tips. This is the reality, i don't make this up. Americans are fascinated with big boobs and skinny bodies for a long time..Marilyn Monroe , Jane Mansfield..just a perfect example .Sex symbols. Not mean they are any better than the one with a 34/b. In the same time i am not for big boobs , care less so wont mean much to me. But thousand of others are crazy about them..Hooters are listed on the stock exchange? What? I look at the inside myself. But initially you have to like something..even the eyes are can be attractive for me.