Deal...it's gotta be "Party of Five", though...none of that "Scream" shit...

Good question, i dont beleive lust is a sin we are animals after all and our emotions are primative

marriage for me wasn't about the ring or the paper it was about declaring our love for each other. i am catholic, my husband is christian, we lived together and had sex before marriage, i think you are silly if you dont...you need to live with some one to find out what they are really like.

I think you misunderstand the concept of lust.
Lust is NOT healthy or acceptable in marriage. Desire for one another is, but to lust is to go beyond the normal expectations associated with a healthy sexual relationship within the confines of marriage. Lust is more associated with animal passions that drive many to move beyond the healthy and respected confines of marriage and experiment with other forms of pleasure. So, it is not "OK" for married couples to lust.
As far as the religious implications associated with amrriage, that is for you to decide. It all depends on your personal beliefs. As a Christian, I believe in the sanctity of my marriage before God. Others believe in similar bonds, and in different ceremonies that signify the presence of a higher power as the guiding force in their marriage.
It is all about how you wish to live with someone else. Society looks at marriage as a "try it and see if it works" thing any more, so if you need to live with someone first, that's between you and them. I don't think that God is going to banish you to hell for doing it.

Dictionary.com
LUST:
1.intense sexual desire or appetite.
2.uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.
3.a passionate or overmastering desire or craving (usually fol. by for): a lust for power.
4.ardent enthusiasm; zest; relish: an enviable lust for life.

Using the abovementioned definitions, I must respectfully disagree with your position robert. Although not something I have experienced. I believe that LUST in a marriage is completely acceptable, and can be interchanged with DESIRE.

It's all a matter of semantics. Desiring your partner romanticizes the situation. Lusting after them...well, that just makes it sound a little bit dirty.

I want my man to LUST after me forever the same way I want to LUST after him forever.

If lust is a sin, then we will both spend our faithful, committed relationship in hell!!!

Justcurious...will keep a unit beside me open in Hell.

I've got a condo overlooking the lava pits on hold. :)

JustCurious: "If lust is a sin, then we will both spend our faithful, committed relationship in hell!!!" I like that, and I agree! Bottom line, I DON'T think lust is a sin. If God didn't want us to lust, he wouldn't have implanted the desire there in the first place when he made us. If you believe the whole Adam and Eve thing, lust was designed for the procreation of children (be fruitful and multiply), and, when Eve tasted the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge (which I believe to be a metaphor for lust outside of procreation), both she and Adam died spiritually, childbirth became painful and their crops and lands were cursed. I'm not sure if I agree with that. The issue here is lust WITH love. And lust directed AT ONE PERSON. I don't believe in fucking around. I make a go of it with one person until it becomes painfully obvious to both of us that we're not happy. Then I believe in making a clean break before getting involved with somebody else, not "cheating". But that's just me. Anyone else?

This is where I have a hard time with relgious zealots: Lust, desire, call it what you will--it's the same thing!

I want to respond to the one woman's post about living together before marriage that I too agree that it's a good thing. Two people should REALLY know each other before they dive headfirst into marriage, and that includes sexual tastes. And, you can love each other in a committed relationship without pooling money and property in marriage. But I suppose marriage is the ULTIMATE act of committed love (i.e. self-sacrifice). If two people are willing to make the final dive (without a prenup), good for them. I'm not sure if marriage is for me. I'd probably get married after I've been "living in sin" with a woman for at least two years, and she and I were both happy in the relationship and saw no need to seek out another.

Well, if I were a religious "zealot" as you say, then I would be saying that you will burn in hell for even thinking lustfully, living together and having sex outside of marriage. I don't recall ever saying that. Truth be told, I am not now nor have I ever considered myself anything except a Christian man. Do I believe the Bible? Yes. Do I consider God as the final authority? Yes. Do I think that lust is going to cause people to burn in hell? No.
Those of you who posted that you have a "spot reserved in hell" for lusting obviously know nothing about what sin is or why people will actually go to hell. You asked a question, I answered it. I never said that lust is a sin, nor do I consider it a sin. What I said was that I define lust as something that is outside of a NORMAL, HEALTHY marriage relationship. That is my personal opinion ONLY.
I know a little bit about lust and the consequences of it in marriage. I spent 28 years as an addict to sex and porn, and lust played a huge part in why I was addicted and why I stayed that way.
There is more to a relationship than sex. There is much, much more to life than just sex and fantasy. If you choose to live with someone outside of the bonds of marriage, that is fine for you. If it works better, great. If you want to lust after your S.O., go ahead. I hope that in 10-15 years you still are together and you have a healthy relationship. I know after 17 years of marriage, I have a much stronger relationship with my wife after giving up my lustful ways and concentrating on having an intense desire for her. Lust, in my opinion, opens too many doors to possibilities that extend beyond the marriage bed. Lust says it is OK to have multiple partners, or it is OK to have porn on at night, or it is OK to invite outside stimulation into the relationship. Desire says that we are only interested in pleasing one another, without any outside influences. Been there, done that, and I can assure you I have the emotional scars to prove it.
Whatever works for you, that is up to you to decide. I just hope that you don't wake up one day and realize that you are 40, married to an unhappy wife who is sick of your "lust", and your life is a lie.

Robert, you have certainly brought publically forward some valid , and very personal points from your own experience.

I appreciate your addiction and commend you for getting past it, and it is wonderful that you and your spouse have chosen to go forward and work together on this issue. That being said, please keep in mind that this is the Healthy Sex open public forum, therefore, what some consider healthy may not fit into your idea of healthy.

This forum, in my opinion has little to do with relationships, but is based entirely around sex, lusts, fantasies, ideas, dreams, desires, preferences and pornography as a tool for a healthy sex life. You are correct in your statement that there is more to a relationship than lust and fantasy, however, again, this forum really has nothing to do with relationships. For example, I am not interested in any type of relationship currently, but I do enjoy sex.

Im sure eventually my mindset will change, and I will want a partner that will share my life, a relationship, and I can only hope that I will fervently lust after them for years and years (and years and years.) and in my mind, Lust and Desire are interchangeable.

Is it okay to have multiple partners outside the marriage? Thats not my place to decide for others. It certainly didnt work for my marriage, but thats not what were talking about. The fact is, I LIKE porn. I enjoy watching porn alone, and/or with a partner, and I do not believe I could be with a partner that did not agree with me. I LIKE being with a partner and seeing outside stimulation. (in my mind, this is having my man watch me flirt with a stranger in public)

As a general member of this forum, I would like to offer the thoughts that your opinions are of course, very welcome and always encouraged in this public area, as are all those who read and offer insight and information here.

confused, thank you for being honest and sharing your point of view. I didn't come here to start anything, just offer my POV on this one topic. After all, the heading did read,"For Religious Types", and so I answered. I do not wish to push my own ideals or morals on anyone, just share my experience with lust and what it did to me and to my marriage. I believe that all people have the God-given right to choose their path in life, even if it leads them to the gates of Hell. If I've learned anything in my 41 years on this Earth, it is that people do not want "religion" pushed on them or to be told that they are "bad" or are a "sinner". That's not my style, and if anyone feels that I've done that by answering this question the way I did, I apologize.

No apologies necessary. Again, all opinions, views, information welcome!

The Church states that no-one should 'lust' over their spouse either. It shoudl ba a chaste relationship whereby the person is loved, not the act, and in the context of procreation. Married couple don't get a blank cheque either.

And I don't seek to preach either. I am a big sinner.