Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
Isn't that what any happy, successful marriage is? Beyond the possessiveness and flowery romanticism, isn't that what any relationship should be?
Friends do love each other, allow each other to come and go as they please without putting their hooks into each other in a possessive stranglehold, trust each other not to stray and respect each other.
Friends do love each other, allow each other to come and go as they please without putting their hooks into each other in a possessive stranglehold, trust each other not to stray and respect each other.
It's almost like a side effect; when I'm in a good relationship, I feel trusted, I feel loved, I feel respected. I don't feel possessed, I don't feel limited, I don't feel a need to sneak around.
I think people need some degree of tangible indicators that reaffirm the relationship. However, whenever I hear, "If you loved me, you would ....", that raises the hairs on the back of my neck as well as a red flag. When having the tangible signs becomes more important than the feelings that motivate the tangible signs, I feel it becomes more of a way to show others how great your relationship is, rather than what you actually feel.
And I am just as guilty. Personally, I find over-possessiveness or jealousy very difficult to accept. Part of the reason is I associate those traits as controlling, and I am sensitive to that. But now I am into the tangible indicators (or lack thereof) that I need to feel to reaffirm the relationship, those things that I might point to as a way to explain why I have a good relationship. But it's important for me to remember those things are NOT what makes a good relationship, but are indicators that I'm in one.
I agree TA...possessiveness does seem to be an ugly word, or implies the wrong thing and doesnt belong in a relationship...and to me commitment isnt possessiveness...