Healthy Sex Support Group
This community is dedicated to an open discussion about healthy sex and sharing thoughts and feelings about sexuality and improving one's sex life. Most active adults desire to have an active and fulfilling sex life, both for themselves and also their partner. Here we discuss common sexual challenges faced by both men and women.
SO my husband has cheated all the way through his last three wives....last night confessed to an affair with his ex-office manager of 9 years...one of many affairs. He justifys these by saying his needs werent met by his wives. SO it leaves me bustin myself to make sure he is well satisfied at every possible moment!
I have posted about our current bedroom issues....but this ones just me freakin out!
was so shocked, he had never mentioned it before, seemed like a big chunk of life to leave out.
SO Im worried, will he cheat on me too?
He says he didnt know what love was until he met me, and wasnt in love with his past relationships/lovers.
Im feeling like running for the hills to be honest....
Can he be different with me?
I have posted about our current bedroom issues....but this ones just me freakin out!
was so shocked, he had never mentioned it before, seemed like a big chunk of life to leave out.
SO Im worried, will he cheat on me too?
He says he didnt know what love was until he met me, and wasnt in love with his past relationships/lovers.
Im feeling like running for the hills to be honest....
Can he be different with me?
So, the question is, "anyway....so no chance of him keeping it in his pants then?
even if I am the hottest lay ever?!!!! ".
Even if you are THE hottest lay ever, there is the possibility. IMHO, his behavior will continue to repeat until he has some kind of life changing event occur. Perhaps, not even then.
Regardless, the problem is your new awareness to this issue and now that you have opened this line of thinking, it will be nearly impossible for you to dismiss or forget it. This will always be in the back of your mind.
I believe people have the ability to change for the better. The possibility exists that he will behave within your marriage. I just feel it would be highly unlikely due to his past behavior patterns/habits and the fact that it was 'never' his fault.
Good luck and I hope you can find peace with this.
Lesson learnt.
x
BUT >>>> When the passion gone , the marriage is dead. Finished. You can painted any colors. Is still beating on a dead horse. Now you know the warning signs...at least the most important one.
The thing is..its never his fault..I had a revenge affair whatever u wanna call it I stoped to his level n gave him his own med. n told him a cpl yrs ago n now I'm the one that ruined our marriage..it was never his fault even though 1 woman was pregnant n had an abortion..
They have a problem them selves its called he's not happy within himself..there is something deeply wrong and it is all the wimans fault. Noone could ever work harder, do better, be anywhere near their level so they think. It's a defect within them selves n as long as their not happy within themselves they will never be happy with anyone else.
Point being..yes I recently slept with my husband even though he is with this other woman..thing is he left on a Friday n was back at my place that next wed. We have slept together for 6 months now on n off... I'm the other woman even though I'm his wife..for now. He won't change n now that I'm going NC he will chase me n I have to ne strong n he will find another to be his side fling.
It's them..don't ever forget that. We need to say SERIAL CHEATER!! Look it up..it will suprise the hell outta u, it did me. Good luck :-)
How do I know if hes cheating?!
When my wife was cheating she was swear it , looked me in the eye, telling me she is not dating anyone, even as i have read the SMS messages back and forth. With a strait face she lied. In my face! No way anyone would just tell you, you are right honey i am seeing this woman, Your chances fro that 0.1 percent.
Here is what you do. As a test. make some advances in the evenings for a week or so. At the minimum 3 times he should go along with no issue.The length of time. To short means the person just tries to get it over with real fast. No kissing? Touching..What? Why?
The bells are should ringing off...See what he does, and how he does it. If it is a real quick one , all the time...you better start thinking why. Generally cheaters are loose interest in the person they cheating on.If he say "i am so tired, not tonight" Lets do it tomorrow...
Trust me the warning signs are there.Just got to read them. My wife went in to the office even Saturday to work when no one was there. And i eat it up! Having sex on sat ..doing the day with someone. I caught her eventually. Well months later. Extra times a way from home what ever reason would be. And don't forget the business meetings.The best excuse in town...
Its never a night time love making option anyway, always and every morning after the blue pills kicked in!
Hes too tired at night....?!!!
Occasionally I have been able to entice him at night but usually if I know hes not twitching down there, its not going to happen and I will feel bad he cant rise to the occasion for me....until the morning.
Hes keen right now but I will be aware now. x
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I don't believe a leopard can change his spots, doesn't make them bad, just makes them a leopard....
Once upon the time we were sitting in a breakfast place (Pacific Palisades Cali) with my friend Dan. Sitting right next to the window and waiting for the food. A woman walked by across the street in some miniskirt, nice legs but wasn't attractive at all . We have both turned our had towards her direction, and looked at her ass as she passed by on us..
Dan turned to me and said
- Isn't that funny this ugly chick walks by and we both checked her out. Undeniably thats what we did. Automatically with out saying a single word to each other. Men on the prowl.
The funniest part is Dan was dating a Penthouse centerfold at the time , whom he end it up marrying. Now to make it to the center page of a magazine you had to look good, and still his eyes were wondering just as well..
We undress them like an X-ray machine, and try to imagine how nice that ass could be with out the close on. No doubt i am a butt-man..hehehe
So I live with it and see....
thanks all.
x
Also, dont ever feel like you have to perform sex "or else he will cheat" , that is just not fair to yourself.
Try to stop worrying becuz you may make yourself miserable. Your personla serenity/happiness comes first. Also, marrying for financial security sounds sensible to me, and realistic, in the world we live in today.
Work on yourself, your art-work, are you taking any college courses? If you focus on yrself and positive changes, it can only make your relationship better.
The fact that he has to take "the blue pills" will make spontaneous cheating just a bit harder, besides~
You could always call him on the fact that he isn't remorseful about his past cheating, but it would start a hassle.
You have to plan everything out, financially, if you decide to leave him.
1. bad sex life
2. wife or gf using sex as a weapon
3. an unattractive spouse that lets herself /himself go.
4. never caring about your sig other
5. not being interested in his / her life
6. rarely getting enough attention.
7. A spouse that uses you for money
these are my own opinions
yes it can be very different with you.