Well this is just my opinion , but a lepord can not changes his spots and a cheater will always be a cheater. Especially since he makes excusses for doing it and apparently sees nothing wrong with it and shows no remorse.

I wish you luck and trust your gut instinct.

I was married to someone as the 4th husband. Recently divorced. She was my 1st wife and...
- Cheated on number 3 husband on her own admission, Actually she just went home and announced it to him as is ..i am cheating on you.

- And than me..cheated on me at 2 1/2 years
- And the follow up at 4 1/2 years....and the our divorce.
On the way home from a birthday party she just looked at me , drunk...and said
- I am not a good wife i am cheating on you.
All 3 guys were married with young children.I guess she preferred them what ever reason.

I asked myself the if i would have did something different , or better, and all the other questions. On the end don't matter what you do it is in their blood. once a cheater is always a cheater, i think it is the excitement of the "new". The new piece of...

I had sex with many woman. I know the feeling , The drive. The urge. But have never cheated after i got married. I stooped fooling around at 46. I did my share. Looking for love this days , but i sure picked the first wife real well myself. Ha,

Its not you what ever happens.! You are OK..You need to have someone who respect you...loves you..as anyone can fuck! Life is to short there are many good men are out there.

Someone buys an expensive paint. The first year sitting front of it every day. Second year 3 times per week. The third he walks by on it but proudly shows it to friends who comes by for visit. 4th year? Thinking to sell it , or keep it for a while for investment purposes. He is in love with a new picture....

How the heck am I going to know if he is cheating.?!

He says he wasnt a bad husband to W1/2/3 but they were bad wives not to sleep with him.

He says:
Its not cheating if you dont lie about it, and he never hid anything.

He tries to convince me it wont happen to 'us' I am W4. The reason I married him was to give myself some sort of protection financially if he did, not very romantic but I gave up my house and job and relocated. But I do love this man to bits.

I feel sick.

I'm sorry, but he is a serial cheater, going through three wives. He has no track record of not cheating.

You risked your sexual health and emotional life for financial security. He knows it, you know it too.

It was a bad bet.

Maybe you should I wind this marriage,

"Unwind"

Once a cheater always a cheater so the saying goes, but even if he isn't, will you ever truly believe him or will that little voice in the back of your head keep telling you he is?

My opinion - since you are asking - is that even if he isn't cheating right now, he will eventually. Serial cheaters seem to lack the self respect or the self control. I don't think it's a big deal to them.

I tell you how you will know it..first is the cum...body produces only so much. When a guy cant come the reason are...no more left inside of him...the other woman got the majority . If the body stop producing for a reason... But if someone OK on Saturday , Tuesday should be be Ok too.

Tired when you want to have sex...Not in the mood in most times...The romance stops..the touches, the kisses, the kind words...when the love making becomes monotone...and he will stop the random advances , rather have sex as a "duty" just to keep you quiet. Now those are Saturday nights and usually for a very short time.
Bang-Bang Thank you ma'am style! Now you have an issue!

I do not believe once a cheater always a cheater, that's generalizing way too much and everyone is different. Some people do make very bad choices but some people do learn by them and don't repeat those bad choices BUT......he cheated on his 3 previous wives, places all blame on them and claims it isn't cheating if you don't lie about it and hide nothing. He's taking no responsibility for his actions and he doesn't sound like he's remorseful about it.

By saying it's not cheating if you don't lie about it and don't hide it, then is he saying he and his former wives AGREED to having an open marriage? If an open marriage was agreed on then no, it's not cheating.

If an open marriage is not the case then he doesn't have a very good track record of being honest and trustworthy in a relationship.

The sexual issues you posted about previously would certainly make me extremely suspicious.

If he is saying it was that his needs were not met...BS!! That was an issue with him because he had a choice. You can't kill yourself worrying that your not meeting his needs!! I read your earlier post about the sexual problems and my first thought was a history of infidelities, emotional problems or sexual addictions. Look around the iffidelity support group...you may learn a lot even if it hasn't happened to you!

wow thanks, phewee. Not sure Im too surprised by your comments, I needed to hear it.

No hes not remorseful at all. In fact he gets quite angry that his x-wives let him down...and he feels justified to get it elsewhere.

They did not have an open marriage agreement, but W3 was an affair while he was married to W2 so I guess she got the same story I do now...

I struggle to feel good about him right now...heres me trying to sort out our bedroom issues i.e.: his lack of compassion and respect for me....
He also told me to F-off infront of my daughter.

But Im in no position to leave him with no job ( which I gave up when I relocated to be with him) no car ( he sold while I was out! saying he would get me another better one, hasnt yet!!!) and no money ( I have no access to the bank account!)

yup durh to me!
and yes you are right I can see it now - I gave up my emotional security for financial security....gawd I can see that now!!!
What was I thinking!

Open Marriage.....Legalized Cheating
It is still a cheat. Most times one side agrees for an unspecified reason , not to loose the other , not necessary agree to have someone fuck their other half.

The guy comes home ...the wife asks
- Where were you honey?
- Oh i just saw Mary for an hour, we checked in to a Hotel. I fucked her real good.
- So whats for dinner?

His x-W never made him dinner !
Maybe she knew where he was!

There are some open marriage where one partner agrees to it just to appease the other partner for whatever reason but certainly not always. Different strokes for different folks.

I don't see an open marriage as cheating, there's no deception involved.

it wasnt an open marriage with any of his x wives.

He says it wasnt cheating as he would not have lied about it had he been asked.

anyway....so no chance of him keeping it in his pants then?
even if I am the hottest lay ever?!!!!

their is NOOOOO way anyone with the right mind would agree to have and open relationship in the marriage. Their is always an underlying issue.

I would not want to here or see my wife getting fucked by anyone
IT IS DEMEANING THE FIRST QUESTION I WOULD ASK "WHATS WRONG WITH ME?"
Why is my wife needs to want to fuck an other guy? What do i do wrong and why? Creates insecurity, you are TRASHING someone heart and feeling.

I have been around swingers. I seen them divorcing, so as i have seen the mutual agreement to swing together. It goes for some time but eventually run a ground. It wont last. 9 out of 10 times the man pushes the woman. I try the shit to and my girlfriends end it up crying..it was all in my thirties...You want to swing? Don't get married it not solve any issues. Defeats your morals and values.