You sound a lot like me, except I am a male, an old male, but my experiences are still valid, just dont rush anything,and try not to bend to peer pressure, I did and it was a big mistake.........

Thank You Boomerang55, I appreciate the comment. Indeed, I am not bending to peer-pressure.

I think you can take a sensible middle ground. Continue to go out with different people (taking some safety precautions). No it does not make sense to try intimacy in a situation that will make you feel exploited and goes against your values. Suggestions,

1. Order modestly on a first or second date and clearly offer to split the check, and eliminate any issue of someone expecting something. (but do not offer to pick up the check either).

2. Sometimes men feel obligated to suggest bed even before a relationship has formed. So do not get too mad at a one or even two suggestions without undue pressure, and graciously try to switch topics.

3. Do not go to a man's room or hotel,

4. Be fun, interested in someone stories, and do the thing that make someone popular. Dress attractively.

5. Have reasonable expectation and do not be one of many chasing after the most popular guy. I have a handsome family member and it is virtually impossible to go with him somewhere with him without a woman approaching him. When I saw a regular looking woman approach him at a sporting event, I felt bad for her, and wondered why she did not approach someone else,

6. If you find someone after a a number of dates and solid relationship then consider a physical relationship in an atmosphere of mutual trust, and try not to worry and just see what happens.

Thank you, for the advice.

Quite honestly, you sound like someone with a great deal of wisdom whose standards will attract the perfect match in the perfect time. Don't ever settle...you are one in a million!

Thanks, TXJ. I refuse to settle and don't know what it's like to settle. TBH. Every one of my girlfriends from college settled into marriages and complain about the relationship either with their husband, in-laws, and or children before marrying them. Therefore, not settling.

Luv,
So I guess some perspective. I lost my v card when I was 18. I was quite happy when it happened. But I struggled with relationships for many years after that, and didn’t get married till I was in my thirties. Are you a virgin? What’s the longest you’ve dated or been in a relationship?

Sorry I guess I should have paid more attention to the original post. Can I ask what’s the farthest you’ve gone with a guy?

Hi IDMIPAGA, so many questions! LOL. Yes, I am pure until marriage so my experience with the opposite sex is limited. It wasn't my intentions not to be married by 30. I could have been married at 16 but didn't want to follow into a cultural or belief cliches like other girls or family members. Therefore, accomplishing what I have done career and education wise is very rare.

I didn't start "looking to get married" before 25. Unfortunately, I was in the wrong place or time. I haven't settled and glad I have not. There has to be a good man there for me I just feel it. I still pray and wait. Not really pure either but not for a one night stand either. I'm taking my time.
Other posts I have made are about a man I thought I couldn't live without. Found out, I was wrong about him. Glad I didn't commit. I'm more relaxed now.

Hi MaryContrary! I am working on getting to the right place, so when my time comes to meet him, I am willing to embrace him as a friend and more if it leads to that.

You are not alone in not having had intercourse by 30 or any other age for that matter. Do what feels right for you rather than what others around you are doing. I too completed a PhD when I was young and probably sacrificed a lot of social contact. My biggest fear was whether I could maintain an interest to complete it rather than whether it would stop me jumping into bed with the ladies. I have found it best to take life as it comes, without too much planning. We can all change our minds.

I like your attitude. Your standards are high and keep them that way. You don't have to be intimate of you don't feel comfortable with the guy. When you meet that special guy, you'll when the time is right.
You said some of your dates were boring and you ended up picking up the tab on some dates. Where did you meet them? So much stress is put on you younger people when it comes to dating an intimacy. Keep up your moral standards. I guess being patient is the word, but I know that can be difficult. I had trouble finding the right girl when I was in my early 20's. Gave up and met the gal I married, by chance, about 3 years later. You never know. I hope you meet someone soon.

Hi Emptyshell49 and Barry! Thank you for the encouraging words during this difficult time in my life. I have made a lot of sacrifices and still making them as we speak from personal to academic. I am no rush to meet anyone at this present time. I have to focus on me since the recent death of my estranged (father) this past February. It has taken a more significant toll than expected. I am just going to be patient and focus on me while I take a year off from my graduate program this summer and return the following summer. If I should meet someone along the way great; I will embrace it, and if not I will embrace healing and peace of mind to finish my education to be a therapist.

I have had more sex than I ever wanted nonconsensually. I am happy noone has taken away what you are not ready for. I hope you find someone who cherishes you and makes you feel beautiful everyday. Have you tried exploring yourself and figuring out what parts f your body you like to be touched which you dont. What does sex look like to you. How do you imagine healthy sex. I am far from it, but it is important you find someone you can safely explore your sexuality with and remember in the mean time there are other ways to be intimate without it being sexual.