Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

9,961 Members
13,641 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Healthy Relationships Support Group

You might hate me

soototallyarii
soototallyarii

hi I'm new here. I need help. 


After reading this you might hate me as a human because I'm so bad at relationships.


i am in a relationship with an amazing man. He is patient, never gets mad at me, doesn't try to change who I am, supportive in every aspect, makes me feel pretty even when I feel like a disgusting blob, etc. but in return? I yell at him, I'm mad at him on a daily basis for stupid little things, I'm extremely needy and need daily confirmation that he still loves me, I'm a hypocrite, I overreact, I don't apologize, and even though I'm aware of what a messed up girl I am, I don't know how to change. He loves me through all of it and says he knows that's not the real me and he loves me for who I truly am, but I want to stop making his life so difficult. I just get so mad. And while I'm having this happen I am aware of it but I always feel like I'm in too deep and can't crawl out. I never apologize either I just move on as if nothing happened. Ugh anyone relate or am I really the worst human being?

gregsbaby
gregsbaby
Have you ever seen a doctor to get dx'd with depression and/or anxiety? I have both and although I don't yell at my hubs the anxiety seems to take over at times and I get in my crazy wired brain all kinds of things like telling him, " I know you're going to leave me" and other false things.

You're not the worst human being you're human. It's ok to ask/seek help. Good luck!
4jesus
4jesus
You aren't a horrible person. Almost all of us has had depression/anxiety/OCD issues. Just because you may have anxiety or some other underlying issue doesn't make you a bad person. I agree with "Gregsbaby", you may need to seek help through a doctor or depression/anxiety meds. I was prescribed Zoloft in 2010 due to dealing with 3 deaths in 2 months and needed help. After awhile, not only did I notice it was helping with the depression, but I was no longer on edge like I used to be. I have a bad temper that sometimes gets really out of control, but with that and anxiety medicine, I still will have my moments, but they are way much more controllable (not lasting as long or being as intense).
Aronia
Aronia
I don’t know if you will find this helpful, but it is usually best to break the influx of these emotions before they reach crisis point where you can’t control yourself.
You have to pay attention to clues that you are starting to feel unstable and take time alone to think about what you are going to do next. Lock yourself in the bathroom if you have to.
Also try practicing apologizing, like actually saying I am sorry for the way I was acting when you do act poorly. The major thing is to get to the bottom of WHY you act the way you do.
Do you just treat him this way or do you talk to everyone like that ?

I m glad you are noticing that something is wrong and looking to improve
soototallyarii
soototallyarii
Thank you everyone, I would really like to work on it. I also regularly tell him I know he's going to leave me. I would like to stop myself before I get to crisis point and I will practice apologizing. I'll let you guys know how it goes.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you soo...... This has nothing to do with your boyfriend.... It comes from the inside out and I think you're recognizing that

Anger management could help you as well as getting into some counseling .... You can explore what's going on and why in order for your future to look brighter

I think if you don't address it at some point he will be done.... People will only tolerate so much abuse before saying enough....

You can change this by first just stopping what you're doing ... Bite your tongue and get some help for you... You deserve to be happy.... We all do...... xo
Aronia
Aronia
Unfortunately, you are right - if you keep hurting someone, that person will eventually leave, but don’t end it in his head prematurely.
Tell him that you will fight to be the woman he deserves instead.
johnnycake
johnnycake
Look into dialectal behavior therapy. It is most helpful if you can do it together as a couple, but you can also do it alone.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • Community LeaderSunCloudJD

    Hello Monday

    Posted by: SunCloudJD
    Last Reply: SunCloudJD
    4
    Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
  • Sunshinegirl0228

    Dr. Appointment

    Posted by: Sunshinegirl0228
    Last Reply: Sunshinegirl0228
    3
    Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.