You don't change for others, you change if it's what you want for yourself. There are many people who have issues and they can be fixed IF the person truly wants them fixed. Is it easy....no. Is it possible....yes! But it's something you need to want to do for yourself. We all have the choice to either stay down on ourselves or pick ourselves up.

Then it's my choice to stay as I am, because I believe I am ok and don't need to change.

ah.... the "change argument" fear of the unknown... often coupled with the feeling that if you take responsibility for your actions and feelings, you have to "own" a past that might be scary to do so.

But it isn't about taking blame for your past, or your actions. it is about take control of them in the future.

We change all the time, we are fluid creatures that change to fit the mood, the environment and the people around us. it is up to you to guide that change.

If you continue down the path you are currently on, you will likely live an unhappy life filled with temporary relationships that cause you pain and guilt.

If you work on you, learn to adapt the negative internal dialog that keeps you doubting yourself and learn to believe in your self... ie.. have good self esteem, you will draw in that man you want. you aren't changing for HIM, but for YOU. He is just a side affect.

Perception is Key.

oh, and one last thought.

Whether you believe you can direct that change where you want it or whether you believe you cannot.

You are right.

I understand Dave17 but I don't want to be in relationships anymore, of any kind, temporary or serious.. I believe I am better alone.

I would challenge you, that being alone for the wrong reasons is just as bad as not being alone... for the wrong reasons.

Being alone because the world sucks and men are evil is such a dark place to be, and I would expect it to be hard to have a happy life in such a place,

Work on you, learn to be happy. You can do it.

I truly believe that I can be happy alone, and I don't need anyone to be happy. It is wrong to think you will be miserable just cause you are single.

It is fucked up though that when I say I don't have a boyfriend nor want to have, people ask me if I am a lesbian lol

But my decision is to be alone and try to be happy with myself. I am sorry if I offend anyone, but I don't believe in guys and I don't believe that any could make me happy. It doesn't mean that there aren't good ones, I just prefer to be alone.

Dave is so right! Take a break, regroup, work on you, be good to you and then reassess what you want to do.

I already know what I want to do. Forget the asshole I had in the past and be happy with myself. ALONE.

I do not think you have offended anyone. I think people can sense that your hurting anf they just want to give you suggetions to help out. You are so right you need to be happy with yourself. I wish you well in your journey and when the journey ends I hope you can say you love yourself!

Oh I can relate to your post here!! I think your right!! There aren't any good ones left! I almost think I am going to be alone forever!

Finally someone who understands me!

So out of the male population, there aren't any good single men left.

I suppose it would be a fair statement then for the men to say the same about women too, out of all the single women, there are no good ones left.

How to meet "decent" guys, when you feel, in your own words, you are "crap". Hmmm...

First, redefine self and be happy with self. Then, always, always, always, be willing to let a guy in. If you're concerned that your looks aren't perfect, then look for a guy whose looks are considered by some less than perfect. This will relax both you and him, and you two will be able to create a magnificent world, where you are king and queen, damn what "society" says.

I do believe a healthy body, beyond mere cosmetics, contributes to a healthy mind and spirit. Endorphins produced by a good sweat are beyond compare. I'm a firm believer in exercise as the route to personal nirvana.

Not sure if I believe in the "right" one anymore. I really used to think there was that person out there for me that would get me. Now i have kinda lost hope in that. Mostly because of my past relationships. I have been in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship as well as a marriage that has failed. I either attract the most needy guys you can ever imagine or guys who dont have the ability to give me the emotinal support that I need. There seems to be no in between for me. You are still so young so please i beg you NOT to settle. work on you and be happy with yourself and find someone who can be an asset in your life. I am wishing you all the best...