You are a good dad. And I make sure that the kids know that.

***He's been out in California for the past two years, and has lost his connection to them a bit. But he was unexpectedly out here for a day, as he totaled his car out there, and flew back to pick up his truck. He only had a few hours with them, and has a long, long drive back.

That is more or less what I said to him at the door as he was about to leave yesterday morning.

It was a strange visit. Reminded me of all of the reasons I fell in love with him, and at the same time all of the reasons we divorced. I also got to here about what was going on with all of the people I had been friends with from his small town. Happy, sad, nostalgic, triggering. Predictable... all wrapped up in one. Sort of like reminiscing at a wedding or a funeral, with neither the happy or sad overtones.***

I was married for 10 years and my wife passed away. I know the loss that you feel from your divorce. There're certain emotions that I don't have because being widowed or divorced are completely different things. I didn't even have the best relationship with my wife. It turned into a codependent relationship over the years because she turned into my whole life when she got deathly sick. Enough of that though.

Thanks for sharing.

Grammar Nazi back. Being widowed and being divorced are completely different things.

Drew,

That was pretty abusive and misogynistic.

What on earth does your ex's large vagina have to do with her quality as a person?

Are you seriously shaming her for having too many sexual partners?

If you think she couldn't please you because she had too many partners, perhaps with every partner YOU had, your Weenus shrunk a little bit?

Not cool dude... NOT COOL

I was just letting off some steam. I wouldn't say any of this to her.

I was upset and angry last night. I did this to let off some steam. I felt better afterwards. I have an incredibly small penis if that makes you feel better.

My "ex", my "spirit wife" (we were never married) and I are on better terms. I guess I'd just say "thank you for being my grand scientific experiment. I know you don't love me, and knowing this, I don't love you, but you're a very intelligent woman with great wisdom, and that thick, fluffy mane of hair was intoxicating!".

Your penis size matters not to me. It would make me feel better if you disliked your ex because she was unkind to you, not that you found her nether regions too roomy!

My point was, when we dislike someone, let it be for things that ARE under their control.
Insulting body parts, physical characteristics etc... Is extremely immature and not logical at all.

Well she was really mean to me. She derated and belittled me. She made me feel miserable and worthless. She made me feel like I didn't matter. I'm repeating myself. This was just me releasing my frustration.

She's done so much to me and continues to run her mouth talking about me behind my back with people we both know. She's doing exactly what she did with her ex husband. BOY HAVE I LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON WITH HER!

I just got off the phone with a mutual friend asking me about how things had happened. My response to her questions were questions like would I do that and Do you think I would do something like that.
I never gave her a direct answer. If she believes what my ex says then she isn't a friend. I don't talk negatively about my ex to anyone except on here. I said something once when a guy told me that he was thinking about asking her out. I just chuckled and said good luck.

So this post was a simple way for me to redirect my anger and not go bad mouthing her to people we actually know.
Many people know how she is. If you are around her for any longer than a few months her true colors show. I just let mutual friends discover that on their own.

I would say, "I hope you find what you're searching for."

Drew sometimes the best revenge is living well. That way it doesn't matter what she's putting out there. Holding on this kind of rage, (and that's what it is because someone who didn't feel rage wouldn't describe someone this way) even if you don't intend to tell her, is poisonous to you, and it will affect your relationships with women going forward. It's ugly and hateful to discuss someone's body in this manner. Realize even if it's just a fantasy, it says more about you than it does about her.

I'm not trying to pick at you, just that I think there are better ways at expressing your feelings that don't make you look like you're a woman hater.

I am shocked that all the people you hang out with all seem to be up in each others' business. Man, I'd hate that. Of course, if all of you are running your mouths about each other, that's going to happen. No one needs to know what happened, your ex is going to say what she is going to say, and all you can do is rise above it and be a great man.

These can't be your only options: either you bad mouth her to other people, or you completely go for the lowest form of insult by discussing her vagina here. I mean, surely there's other ways to go.

I was just angry. No I don't mention my ex at all. They bring her up I say that I don't want to talk about her. I just get tired of friends coming up to me talking about my relationship with my ex. It's none of their business. I simply tell them that I prefer not to hear anything about her.
I don't want to know when she's running her mouth or what's she's even uttering my name for.

I'd get tired of that too and I wouldn't want to hear about it either. Tell your friends to knock it off. Be serious about it too. Tell them you're trying to move on and it doesn't help you if they keep bringing her up. Or even more direct, tell them it's none of their business and if they keep bringing it up, you can't hang out with them any more. Set them straight about it, individually, so they can't gang up on you. If they can't keep their yaps shut you have to find new friends.

Seriously, I'd rather hang out by myself than have people in my life picking at my old wounds for what seems like their entertainment. Don't be that to them. Shut it down.

What would I say to the Ex? There are novels of what I would say to him. Because he did so much damage, before the marriage, during the marriage, since the marriage. To me, my family, our son, and others. But for starters, and because I'm sure no one wants to read my novel, here is a small segment of what I would say.

"At one point in my life, you were exactly what I needed. Or rather, who I thought you were, was exactly who I thought I needed. I wish I would have seen certain signs sooner. But from a perfect combination of you hiding so much for so long, and me explaining away signs and choosing to trust beyond all reasonable thought, it was such a storm of betrayal, enabling, and disaster waiting to happen. I was patient to a fault, I saw only the good and explained away the bad. I took the blame for the natural breakdown that occurs when one partner is always looking outward instead of focusing on the pair. I didn't know about your worst demons until I was in far too deep. I thought it was all my fault for far too long.
Our son made me strong. He opened my eyes to who and what you really are. He made me know I had to protect him from things I should have known to protect myself from. I wasn't strong enough for me. I didn't care enough about what was happening to me. But I care more than anything in the world what happens in his life, and I'll be damned if I let you bring the destruction and chaos on him that I for some reason endured when it was only myself.
Now you desperately want me to think you've changed. It doesn't even matter to me. I do want you to change, for his sake. It breaks my heart to think that he could one day see the terrible things you do, if you do not get them under control by then. But no matter what you change, I will never feel that way for you again. I am disgusted by what you have done. And by the fact that I know in my heart and mind that you have done far worse and more than even the things I do know. I truly hope you find healing, change, and peace. But it will not be for me. There is no US. It makes me sick when you try to tell me you miss me. Please just get yourself some help."

I liked your posts ShastaSue. Also Drew it's Jenna Jameson.

I would say to my last ex you're manipulative, and it's no wonder you have no friends. I'm too naive to have trusted you. You were lucky to have found someone as great as me but you never saw it.