Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I have been friends with a boy for about four months now.My bestfriend(girl) introduced me to him, and on that very same day he invited us to his house( he lives in a rented house with few of his friends who are all boys)When we both went to his house there were few of his friends,but they left the house after about 10mins leaving just the 3 of us.While we three were watching tv he suddenly said that he wanted to ask me something and took me to his room,where he tried to kiss me and misbehave with me,when I asked him why he was behaving like that he said that he likes me,I didnt know how to react,so I just laughed and went outside.We remained friends even after that( I told him I would be his friend if he treated me with respect)A few days after this incident everything was normal I had forget about him misbehaving and we were like best buddies,he even introduced me to his friend and told me I should date him as he was a good guy and we were both single,gradually i started liking this guy he introduced me to,and we got into a relationship.
Two days after i had got commited with ny boyfriend,this guy calls me and my bestfriend and asks us if we could all hang out(including my boyfriend who apparantly lives with him in the same house)So me and my bestfriend went to his house.On reaching there he called me and my bestfriend to the roof where there was a single room, and my boyfriend was downstairs inside the house.When we three were just sitting and talking my bestfriend suddenly went outside the room for some reason..as she went outside this guy told her to close the door and she did it.As soon she shut the door he came very close ms, held me by the waist and pushed me to the bed,tried to lay on top of me,this time i got very scared and started screaming.Seeing my reaction he got scared and said that he was just joking.I didnt tell this to my boyfriend who came to the roof 5mins after this as I didn't want to ruin their friendship and also I had got into a relationship with my boyfriend only because of this dude and i thought I should be greatful to him,he had also helped me on various occations and was a good friend,but I didn't know why he was trying to be physical with me.
Again I didn't worry long about this incident and I was very happy with my boyfriend,even this dude acted as if nothing happened( the reason I tolerated all this is beacause I genuinly liked him as a friend and i did not want to loose him)Again the both of us were acting like normal friends and one day he wanted to facetime with me, so I picked up the call and we were talking and laughing when suddenly he asked me if I knew what a handjob was,I felt uncomfertable so I told him I didn't know what it was,so he said he would show me what it was and started masturbating.At this time I had completly lost it ,so i deactivated all my social media and changed my number so noone could contact me.I wanted to be left alone,its been 5 days and haven't talked to him or my boyfriend,I don't know what to do.He and my boyfriend are very close I dont want to make it awkward for them or get inbetween their friendship,and if i told my bf,he（the other guy）might hate me ( although he has been a jerk, he was also kind and supportive,he was there for me at bad times)
I don't know what to do,please suggest me what to do（ ps.my bf isnt even slightly similar to this other guy,he actually is a gentleman）
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Who cares what the jerky guys thinks and whether or not he gets mad at you or hates you. This is the thought process that leads woman to excuse abusers because sometimes they apologize with flowers and gifts.
Just my opine. . .
Gentle support, whichever way you take it.
Absolutely do not hang out with them. It isn't safe. As for your bf, I don't think he is a very good bf if he is ok with his friend raping you. You may not know this, but many guys like to have sex in groups, where one watches the other have sex with or abuse his girlfriend, or one fucks her in the face while the other is in her ass.
This is not normal and totally disgusting. It's what people who watch tons of porn are into. You do not want to be part of that world.
You may be curious but just say no. You may feel lonely and like a freak but just hang in there. Don't have sex until you are ready and it is with someone who cares about you and you have met his family and been together a few months first.
I did that and my first time was wonderful. Unfortunately he got seriously ill and broke up with me because he couldn't be there for me because of his illness. Then I got with an abusive pervert who choked and raped me.
It's so easy for these guys to do. Don't be fooled. These friends of yours are bad people. They want to bring you down because they think you are too good.
Don't be fooled. No matter how lonely and confusing it gets, don't let them abuse you.
You don't need any of these people in your life.
Definitely tell your boyfriend. If he remains friends with the other boys...break up with him.
Anyway I hope you stay safe and things are better for you. Don't be afraid to ask for help any time.
If your boyfriend remains friendly with this person and still wants to hang out with this circle of losers, that is a problem for you. Believe that. Tell him what you expect. If he can’t do that for you then you have to dig deep and let him go.
Be the strong one here. You do not need to worry about how this affects your boyfriend, the guy who assaulted you, the friends, etc. You do not need to
make nice or be polite. Decide for yourself you are not putting yourself in emotional and physical jeopardy with these people ever again. Your boyfriend’s advice to ignore the guy is your boyfriend dismissing the issue. Huge red flag!
"Just ignore him???" Your boyfriend doesn't want to DO anything, because it is HIS friend. When anything like this happens again (and I will bet it will, and probably soon), get out of the situation immediately, and immediately tell your boyfriend. Tell him you will call the police on his "friend". If your boyfriend does not immediately end his friendship with that guy, then I'm sorry but you must end your relationship with your boyfriend. That would make your bf an accessory to these sex crimes. This has been going on since Day One of you meeting your boyfriend. Who knows if this is going on with other girls as well as to you. It all sounds very bad, from Day One.
Then, get away from all of these people!!! You don't need this in your life.
He's a creep … I would stay away and treat yourself with kindness and value sweetie....
I'm sorry that being honest with your boyfriend didn't bring out the gentleman in him.... I think his response was pathetic
You deserve a lot better and a boyfriend who has some backbone.....xo
get away from them all forever or it will only end in being broken
I wouldn't hesitate to tell your friends and your boyfriend. If they are truly your friends and if you boyfriend really cares then he will understand. Also, with in person support, I would confront this person and let him know his behavior is unacceptable - no matter if he says he was "joking" or not. Its sexual assault and that you do not want anything to do with him any more.
I would report this behavior to someone in authority - police, parents, teacher - as if it happens again, then there is a record of previous behavior and action can be taken to make him leave you alone.
This is typical sexual predator behavior and goes under reported all the time.
You need to protect yourself and never feel guilty for doing so. I am not saying its easy to do or you don't feel guilty sometimes for doing it - but for your own sake make sure to protect yourself and feel confident calling people out on inappropriate behavior.
Sexual predators are tricky. They are often friends or a friend of a friend as in this case. They are charming and polite and then they do something inappropriate which makes you feel like its all your fault for being taken in by it - or worse - you think yourself crazy and blowing what happened out of proportion.
You are worth not being preyed upon by idiots.
Good Luck