Healthy Relationships Support Group

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what do u consider cheating???

michellelgrd
michellelgrd
ok so i caught my BF about 3 years ago cheating, and not just like a one night stand but a full fledged affair. i talked to the other women and we compared the lies he was feeding both of us and i felt totally crushed. we had been together like 9 years and have a daughter together. i worked 2 jobs so he could focus on school. anyway im getting off subject. so i left him and moved in with my parents we didnt talk at all for months then we started talking for my daughters sake and eventually we ended up back together after about 2 years apart. i like to believe im past it and trust him again but since weve moved back in with each other ive seen where he has been texting and facebooking other women and even when we are in public together he has a wondering eye. when i get mad he tells me he just likes to flirt and get attention and he would never sleep with another women on me again. but to me this is very disrespectful and i do consider it cheating. am i being just overly jealous and possesive is this normal for men to act this way and would u consider this behaviour cheatng??
michellelgrd
michellelgrd
just wanted to say thanks for all the responses. just to clarify when i said we started talking again for my daughters sake, i meant we were on cordial terms and i would bring her to his family functions and to visit with him. ive left him several times for different reasons and its weird cause when i leave him thats when he "wants" me, he calls me all the time wants to take me places tells me how good i look and keeps his eyes on me, but when he has me, its over, he has me and feels like he doesnt have to try to keep me i guess. i have a lot of trust issues with him but since we have been back together i dont get "that feeling" that he is cheating. i do however feel very disrespected that he eyes other women and it affects my self esteem as well. i dont know if im truly happy or if ive just learned to deal with it since ive been in it 12 years?? leaving is the last resort as i cannot continue to have him in and out of our daughters life and baby#2 here in less than 6 weeks
deleted_user
deleted_user
Whoa! Baby #2 with this guy? I hate to say it, but as the father of your children, you pretty much know him for life unless he gives up his rights and is out of your life for good.
KRKing911
KRKing911
I personally consider it cheating and shows no respect for you at all. If I were you, I'd end the relationship. It's not going to change and your going to be going through this over and over again.

You don't want that for yourself or your son.

Big red flags in my book.

(Hugs)
deleted_user
deleted_user
anything that goes beyond at flirtatious look or conversation.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Because of his past actions he should understand your sensitivity and the fact that he doesn't isn't a good sign. Is it that hard to not look? Really! If he can't even do that I don't know what to say.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am no relationship expert, but I wouldn't regard you as being paranoid given the history you have with this guy. I think there are a lot of red flags there.
I also think he apparently needs constant attention from others to make himself feel good...not a good trait to have in a significant other. I would have to agree with the lady who said you deserve better and so does your daughter. Would you want her to settle for a man like this?
I also agree with popslingers theory; he will not change until he wants to himself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I consider cheating to be having sexual relations with someone other than your partner without your partners consent or approval. It is when one partner in the relationship agrees to be exclusive and the other partner agrees to but then they hook up with someone else and betray the trust of the other partner. Some people really don't want to be committed to one person but i think they should just be honest and say that they want to be in a open relationship.
MuchLoveXOXO
MuchLoveXOXO
... going behind your partners back to secretly spend time with someone else ... esspically if you are willing to be intimate with them.

being honest about your desires will go a long way
and it may save a relationship from falling apart.