I wrote a similar post, got no replies. I guess no one really knows. I bought a book called marriage bootcamp. I am reading it now. My suggestion to you is to try new things, experience something you have always wanted to do . Create new memories. That is the only way.
Best of luck to you........

My marriage ended in divorce...so...

My best advice is still this. Cut out stress wherever you can. If you're living in a house you can't afford...move. Same with all the rest of the bills.

Things TO spend money on...time together. Go out for ice cream. Go bike riding together. Visit places and go camping/ inexpensive motels. Walk on the beach. If you've got kids, get a babysitter and have date night...even if it's only to the park down the street. Make her coffee every morning, see if she'll make you tea every night. Wake up early and clean the bathrooms.

If either of you aren't getting enough sleep, make that a priority. If anyone's drinking...stop.

Relationships are built on TIME.

At least twice a week, focus on a physical connection that's NOT sexual. Hold hands. Give her a massage. Cuddle up together. Kiss her on the back of her neck. If she gets turned on...that's fine, but don't take it further. Save (say Friday evenings and nights) for just reconnecting. No kids, no friends, no sex...just reconnecting. Go for a drive like you're a teenager again. See the lights and just kiss in your dark car. Make a playlist of songs for her. Choose a "song". Go dancing...especially if you suck at dancing. (Slow dancing= putting your hands on her waist and rocking.)

Give it 3 months...12 weeks...24 no sex evenings spent doing all of those things. Then come back here and tell me if I'm right.

Patti

I think the best person to help you would be a therapist, because he or she needs to learn your history and get to know you as individuals.
I also got divorced ( twice) . I now know what NOt to do in a relationship.
First of all, she has to be committed to making it work with the same drive as you do.
Does she have this drive ?
Before you get to see a therapist, you can do an exercise at home .
The exercise would be to write down all the things that you think makes your wife happy and all the things that make her feel unhappy in your marriage.
She does the same.
Write things down in order of importance - for example for me #1 issue I have in my relationship is that when I am upset about something and venting to my bf, he may criticize me. When I m angry about some issue, the last thing I want my partner to do is point out my shortcomings when I m already feeling beat down. I just want him to listen and comfort me, not lecture me. I can receive criticism when I am more calm and rational.
Then you compare notes.

This does a few things
1. It determines how well you understand each other’s needs
2. Learning something new about each other
3. It allows to come up with a plan for negotiations on serious topics.

So, maybe you can start there.
I hope things work out for you. I m happy that you are so dedicated.

I think you have to reframe your thinking and not look for things to be how they used to be. Because people grow and change, nothing can be like they were. I think they can be just as good, maybe better, but not the same, because neither of you are the same. Start with talking, really talking. Love is action so make sure you are acting like you like love her. Not just saying it, but doing it. Stay present; don’t lament what was. You’re wasting time and energy doing that.