Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Very Important - May I have some help?

AlwaysFree
AlwaysFree

This is not really a family issue, but it can be. Right now, it is more of a personal issue. I have not had sex since 2013 (no excuse), that is why I continue to look at porn. It is not a good thing. I know that. I do it secretly at night. Sometimes, I can look at it for a long time. I am trying to kick this addiction, if it is one. I live with my mother, and my little niece and nephew come over alot. They look up to me, and I love them very much. What kind of example is secretly watching porn? I know it can hurt a family if it does not stop. I am thirty-one years old. Does anyone have any advice on the matter? I am not looking for criticism. ... just advice.


Persistence is key

wanttobehappy
wanttobehappy
Are you single Pringle? If you are then watching porn isn’t an issue. You need your release and if you have a healthy appetite then ensure you give your next partner all the attention.
In regards to your nephew and niece... do they know you’re watching porn? Does it really harm them or influence them? These are things you need to ask yourself and if any are yes then make adjustments so they become no. If you’re still concerned about it then don’t do it the days they come over :)
rmb
rmb
Single or not really doesn’t matter, in my opinion. I think it depends on how you feel it’s affecting you to determine if it’s a problem. For instance, is it affecting your work, your relationships, preventing you from having relationships, you can’t experience sexual pleasure without it (including master bating), you spend more time viewing it than you want, etc. There is help through support groups or therapy if you are really struggling with it or it’s becoming a compulsion.

In the meantime, obviously don’t leave porn around or your phone or computer on while your niece and nephew are over. Because yeah it would suck for you and them if they caught you or accessed something you were watching.
AlwaysFree
AlwaysFree
Still, I do not feel as though I should be looking at porn. It is highly addictive. Besides, hopefully, most people know that it is NOTHING like the real thing. So when the real thing comes... Well, I am sure that you don't treat her like you are in a porn film. Porn usually kills love.
Persistence is key
rmb
rmb
So what I’m saying then is if you feel you shouldn’t watch it then stop watching it and if you can’t stop, get help.
Aronia
Aronia
There is nothing wrong with watching porn in private. Being an example to your niece and nephew has nothing to do with your sexuality.
If you had a partner you probably wouldn’t need porn .
AlwaysFree
AlwaysFree
That may be true, but like any drug, it starts out simple, and then it eventually turns into an addiction. Sometimes it is good to nip things in the bud. I used to think that porn could not be an addiction, but one realizes that it can be when one makes it a priority. I don't want it, and I don't need it.
Persistence is key
patti22
patti22
Okay...you really want to quit.

What have you tried so far?

Maybe start by writing down all of the things that YOU think that you might do to help yourself quit?
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