so its been a tough few days.

he started negotiating his way out of this mess, sorting out the finance and what he is responsible for. I have agreed to some things but i am nervous about not doi g this right, but im ok with just being able to move on. We have no kids, no property. But i would like a dair deal.

so i have made some decisions.

i saw a solicitor and started thinking anout the divorce. He says he wont ever speak to me again if i use a solicitor and wants to do everything ourselves. His terms of course. He is pleading poverty. But he has offered a small lump sum and a monthly amount for a year. Not amounti g to much but still helpful. Im not sure how i feel about it. Im scared mostly. Not sure what of. 

i am going back to school to complete the degree i started and didnt finish when i got involved with him.

i am going to live with my student daughter so we will both be at the same university and graduate together. Doing different subjects though. We are looking at a bigger place tomorrow. 

I need to have a mancation, a break from dating. My usual style would be to jump back in and find someone to ease the pain, a distraction from facing up to things i suppose. Not healthy at all.

i have some support from a domestic abuse charity, i am going to use it and to get all the support i need.

i am a bit of an emotional wreck. But thats normal i guess.

he wants to come up at the weekend to drop a car full of my stuff here. Funny how he can do the four hour trip whe he wants to but couldnt come up when i wanted to discuss this all.....what does that say?!

so im making progress.

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