Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Unsolvable problem?

arielariana
arielariana

Maybe no one will even answer this, but here's my issue.  I love my husband soooo much and can't imagine life without him.  Yet, here's what sucks terribly, I'm not attracted sexually to him.  I don't know why.  I think he's handsome and I was a little attracted at first.  ENough to enjoy sex.  Now I don't even enjoy it.  It's gone.  I've heard most marriages like this end in divorce.  But that breaks my heart.  I don't want that.  Yet every time I have sex, I say after to myself, Can I do this the rest of my life?....  It's hard :'(   But all other times, it's great with him.  I love to be around him, etc.


Anyone....? 

lucillegem
lucillegem
hmm have you went to counselling? or, not sure if ur up to it but have you talk to him about how your feeling? perhaps open communication may help?? and maybe you need something to spice it up in bed... trying new things and talking it out may help :) ((hugs))
Artchick
Artchick
how long have you been married and do you have children? I hope things get better.
arielariana
arielariana
Yeah, I forgot to add that it in. We've been married a year and were together a year before that. This one has grown harder cuz I can no longer have an orgasm. We each have a child from previous marriages.
Aronia
Aronia
Do you find him attractive ?
Also, is there something that happened that turned you off?
Can you have an orgasm with masturbation ?
Cora_Belle
Cora_Belle
are you perhaps having hormonal difficulties arising from menopause or peri-menopause?
rmb
rmb
Yep, thinking the same thing- perimenopause/ menopause. It can really mess with your body, psyche and how you feel about your partner and yourself.
lostsoul72
lostsoul72
In order for this problem to be fixed you have to find the underlying cause of it. First be absolutely honest with yourself. If its something you want in your sex life that your not getting no matter what it is you need to talk to him eventually about it, unless you don't want to save your marriage. If you don't talk about it then the resentment will build and that is what destroys most relationships with this problem.

You say you have lost attraction to him. Let me ask you what attraction looks like to you? What really makes you hot for a guy? Then think if he can pull that off somehow?

I wish you the best of luck.
Artchick
Artchick
I may have missed it but how old are yall too? I was married for 10 years to my first husband and never had orgasms. It wasn't until my late 30's I could even have one while having sex. I still very rarely have orgasms during sex. I think it's just something to do with my body or something.
calirn13
calirn13
There are sex therapists and gynecologists that could help. You said “ ...I was a little attracted at first” this doesn’t sound like a honeymoon phase to me. Maybe you might rethink this marriage. Only two years invested... let him find someone who is romantically in love with him.
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