Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I am having another bad day and I have to wonder why I would even bother to join a group for healthy relationships when I have never really had one. i suppose itis because I too want to be healthy and happy with all that has to offer
As a little girl, I would learn to be quiet, do as I am told, cause no problems for anyone, and keep to myself. If anything was wrong, I was told to fix it myself.. Many years later I would progress to the curious person I am now. I did learn from others struggling through the same things as well as a few kind therapists here and there to open up and reach out . I now want to reach out and offer that hand to pull someone else out of their black hole and back into life....like what was done for me.
I have come full circle and now am far too chatty for my own good. I see what even a friendly word or two or simple acknowledgemnt can do to touch a sad or lonely person so I extend that to everyone. I want to learn and share with others. Problem is, I do care and I grow attached.
I have made new friends along the way and grown close to several on here as well. Happily we have encouraged and supported each other to do what they need to do to head toward that healthier, happier life. I am truly very happy for each one as they do begin their journeys (But at the same time I am finding it very hard to lose another friend) I feel like the mama bird watching the babies leave the nest (I do wonder if she needed to increase her antidepressants to deal with her empty nest? lol)
As a "lost child" in a dysfunctional family I will deal with fear of abandonment forever. Losing my mom suddenly at 15...then dad more or less "checked out" as he turned further away from us kids (me and 10 year old brother) TOWARD alcohol because he couldn't deal with the responsibilty. Over time there would be others who i was blessed to have in my life for a little while. Eventually though, they all leave.
I am painfully aware that life is about change. I know too that most people do come into our lives for a reason. What I cannot fathom is WHY ARE SOME LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE SURROUNDED BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOREVER? WHY DO I JUST GET BRIEF BLURPS OF TIME BEFORE ALL GO (OR ARE TAKEN) AWAY?
THIS HURTS FAR TOO MUCH AND I AM WONDERING IF IT IS WORTH IT?
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
I know lots of people and am fond of many of them and am super friendly. But I only have 2 close friends. Even if we don't spend a lot of time together due to life, work, time etc, those friendships are usually a constant. They withstand the usual ebbs and flow most relationships go through.
I think reaching out and offering a kind word to someone is a beautiful thing. But you can still set boundaries so you aren't trying to make everyone whole and then are stuck alone when they don't need you. That's not really friendship.
I am supposed to have that now with my husband, but instead I am left feeling discounted and simply an afterthought. (I don't wish that on anyone)
I think when parents leave this void in your heart, usually unintentionally, no one and nothing can fill that void. We keep trying but nothing works.
I've just accepted that it is the way it is and I know that everything eventually ends ( love, friendships) and enjoy it while it lasts. Then , of course, it happens again.. the constant cycle of loss and joy, loss and joy.
It doesn't bother me anymore. Once in a great while I have a pity party and then get back up.
Hugs
Maybe I should look at this from a new perspective....there was a time I didn't dare reach out to another because it was weak and I had nothing to offer (so I thought). Now after going through so much, I do have experiences, encouragement and hope to offer to anyone who does grab ahold of a friendly extended hand. Maybe I could feel good if I at least touched someone's life. (Like I had some sort of purpose for being here,)