Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
My wife wants to separate because of my destructive behavior through addictions and habits. We have only been married for about 15months. We have a 3yo, 5,6,7 and 11yo. It’s a his, hers and ours situation.
First of all my wife is the most loving and selfless person there ever was. She is fantastic. But over these last few years personall I’ve had my ups and downs. And have dragged her along for the ride. I go on and off with alcohol and drugs. Our home life isn’t like other people, but I am sure people have it similar to us. Being a mixed family. We struggle finacially and live at home. She’s a stay at home mom, and I work.
When I get on my “run”, I go fast and don’t face my emotions. I get stuck on this be tough mode and don’t listen to anyone. She try’s to help and she knows I am using. As to I lie, and she is absolutely fed up with it.
She is my rock, and I am scared to have a life without her. I don’t want to force things but just let her see the man she fell in love with again.
i am currently not using. And this has scared me enough to want to do anything I can to reverse our current situation. I am going to start NA this weekend. And I want to learn how to talk to her without being so deep and I don’t wanna beg her. I want to show her I am strong and things she says, ways she feels are important to me as they really are.
My emotions are all over the place as I been down these roads before. I just want to deal with them correctly instead of them coming out as anger.
The thing we we used to say when we first started getting serious is “one day at a time”. And we have basically lost all touch with that.
She might be all the the way out the door, but I have hope and faith that if I take the right steps, she will second guess her choice of separation.
i guess with this post I am looking more for help/support. To prepare myself for something I am not truly ready for. Maybe just to hear what other people have to say. I am an open book.
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
(Marriage isn't a one-day-at-a-time thing. It's a lifetime thing.)
Priorities:
1) Get Sober
2) Be a Parent to your young children
3) Job
4) Marriage
Don't worry about what she's doing....even if it's divorce. If you're sober in 1-2-3 years, there will still be a lifetime to get back together with her.
Best of luck, Patti
You can go to as many meetings everyday as you need to and you can look into getting a sponsor as quickly as you can.... If there are limited NA meetings then you can also go to AA if you need to
Perhaps she'd be helped by getting into Nar anon
You will be really emotional for a while when you don't have substance to dull your emotions but that's okay
Your children need their Dad and this is the courageous thing to do for them
All any of us have in life is one day at a time even though we like to make plans for more
I wish you well and am glad that you're here..... Big hug......xo
I think the only way to get this better is if you start going to meetings religiously and start counseling to get to the bottom of why you want to escape your job and your life with the family by using drugs and alcohol.
I m so happy that you are recognizing that a change must happen.
Most of the people who use have been through some traumatic events that led them to choose drugs and alcohol.
I hope you will be able to tackle this and continue on the right path.
Best wishes