Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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Telling Others About Your Relationship Problems

GiveMeStrength
GiveMeStrength

I find it really difficult to let other people know about my relationship problems. 


Especially my parents. The two people I should be able to go to for just about any problem, but I hate letting them see that I’m not ok. 


And worse, all I want is for them to approve of the partner I’ve picked, but I’m so scared that if I tell them the problems he’s brought into our relationship (debt, depression, job loss) he’ll go down in their estimation. 


The other night I cracked and told them about his debt issues, and on one hand I feel better because that’s one secret out in the open, but on the other hand I now feel like I/we are under a miscroscope. 


I don’t know if I’m explaining this well. Does anyone else feel ashamed to share their relationship problems with other people? 

rmb
rmb
I understand. My husband and I don’t have a ton of issues but there are some and I don’t share with my family or friends. Not out of shame or what they would think but more because I just don’t think it’s any of their business. However, if I really needed their support or guidance, I would share with my siblings. The thing is none of us really judges each other and we tend to have pretty good boundaries so that would make it easier.

I think if you respect your parents and value their opinion, keep being open with them. They love you more than anyone and want what’s best for you.

If you are worried about what they think of your boyfriend, that should be a signal to you that something isn’t right about him. I’m sorry to say that.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I do think that inviting parents into your relationship can come back to bite you.... Definitely a double sided sword so would be careful what you share

It's great that you feel that close to them however once you tell them the problems as you see them their outlook on your partner may change

I think we do need to vent and talk about problems for sure.... I just don't know if parents are the best go to people for the reasons I stated

I'm sorry you're struggling.... This is a good place to come to vent I think..... Big hug.....xo
rmb
rmb
On the other hand, I totally agree with that too! I think it really comes down to how serious the issue and if you are just looking to vent or if you are needing help because your situation is affecting your well being.
Lolita_Lynn
Lolita_Lynn
For me, any relationship issues I only talk with my man, my therapist, or strangers here in this group. I feel like I would be painting a bad picture of him to my family if I talk to them about it. Sometimes I would talk to my sisters but I wouldn't give much detail.
juliette21
juliette21
I one hundred percent feel the same.
collegekid37
collegekid37
I have run into the same issue before. I try to be careful about sharing with family and close friends - the only person I will really open up to is my mom since I know she is pretty impartial. Other than that, places such as this group make great supports for impartiality.
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