I think it's a tall order to try to have a friendship with someone you still have feelings for and when you maybe are still mourning the loss of the relationship. It's too hard to heal when you don't create distance.

Why did you break up?

I guess, you have to ask yourself "is it worth it?" are you willing to hear the whole truth, no matter what it may be. You may get hurt if you do ask him. Remember perhaps why you two didnt work out, and if they are good/valid reasons maybe its time to work on yourself. If not, and you know there is a possibly that those feelings arent reciprocated anymore, but if your willing to take the risk and you really want to know... Go for it :) perhaps it will help you heal, maybe you need clarity and closure. It is definitly hard to be friends with an ex, especially if the break off is fresh. If you guys can work it out, I hope you are happy with whatever happens! what is it they say? =P Time heals all? I know so cliche, but be patient with yourself, that statement does actually mean something. Warm hugs.

OTM64 he broke up with me cause we were in long distance and he said I was starting many arguments (because he was being cold with me!)... but I always made it clear how much I love him, and seems like he actually didn't.
rmb, I can't help talking to him! he is so special to me, doesn't seem to be right cut him from my life (and I can't do that anyway)

lucillegem, thanks for your comment! I already tried to make him tell me what he thinks/feels a lot of times, but he just avoid answering that... even when we were together he didn't tell me that he was missing me or thinking about me or whatever. but I do love and miss him :(

It's simple: Tell him...and don't expect him to tell you these things back!

I know it's hard but that's not an equitable relationship. That's you hurting and emotionally sacrificing yourself for someone who broke up with you.

Sometimes we have to create our own closure, not hope someone gives it to us.

I agree with rmb completely.

He made a decision to end the relationship because of the complications of a long distance relationship. He decided for himself what was best for him. I feel that you need to do the same. If he acted cold towards you, never really expressed how he felt while he was with you, why would he all of a sudden start expressing his feelings towards you now? When someone really cares about you, like you do towards him, then it wouldn't be hard for him to simply imply what he is feeling.

But If you are content with being his friend, then by all means go for it but if he couldn't be a good partner (boyfriend) to you, why downgrade yourself to his friend...?

Btw I think you could find someone better than him but the first step is breaking off all contact and moving on, somethinng you said you couldn't do.

Don't go down that path with him. Its better for you to move on. He is your ex for a reason. You are setting yourself for heartache if he doesn't say it back to you. I would cut him off. You can't move forward.

You're trying to control him.

I'm betting this behavior is what scared him off to begin with.

You can miss him, you can love him, you can even tell him.

But you can't force it to be reciprocal as koolman points out.

We can't force others to feel a certain way. Why would you want to?

Focus on getting yourself healthy and making yourself happy because you're settling yourself up for a life of misery if your happiness depends on the moods and feelings of other people.

ClearDay, I think you're on the mark.

It is a form of manipulation to contact him. If you really wanted to remain friends, there would not be this pressure. You'd care about him being happy, living his life and be content with that, and you'd be at peace with everything in your life. I'm not pressuring you to feel that way. In fact, I've only remained friendly with one ex boyfriend and that was not talking or seeing him for a few years to get to that point. I don't want to be friends with exes because in all honesty, what's the point? It's too hard, it's too murky and it's too confusing.

What I'm saying is that you have to be honest with yourself about what you're doing and why. I'm not saying you're manipulating him on purpose or that you're even aware you're doing it. I'm trying to think of a situation where if I broke up with someone, I'd want them calling me. I can't say I can.

You have to find a way to be happy and content with yourself, independent of anyone else. It's ok to mourn the loss of a boyfriend. It is sad and it hurts. But you can't let it define everything you think and feel about yourself.

Thanks guys for your comments... for sure they lead me to reflect about many things... but still, he is the only person I really want to talk with, he is the person that I admire the most in the world and I can't stop thinking about him :( I'm sooooo stupid

You're definitely not stupid. And it's normal to keep thinking about him. But I think some of your feelings about his awesomeness is just your creation in order to not let go. There are so many admirable people in the world but you'll never get the chance to meet them if you're limiting yourself thinking he's the only admirable person you'll ever know.

Choose to think differently about him. Not in a bad way, just in a more objective way.

Yeah, from time to time I need to remember myself of the things about him that bothered me, and the times he wasn't nice with me to try to break the chain of missing him so badly. I just would like to forget everything