Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years but the last 6 months have been long distance. Naturally I’m not a very emotionally needy person but two months ago I lost my twin brother to suicide. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. I go through stages of blaming other people , blaming myself, hating myself, and even anger towards him. It’s been a confusing time for me to say the least. My girl was being totally amazing coming to Texas to be with me and I flew out to Alaska 6 times in the last 6 months. Our communication was always great and we trusted each other. The last two weeks she has repeatedly lied to me and has been mentioning this same guy quite a bit. Normally I encourage her to make new friends since she’s in a new place so at first it didn’t bother me but when the lying started I became very uneasy and started having all these insecure thoughts. If either of us are expecting a busy day we let each other know so we don’t expect to talk much throughout the day. She hasn’t done that at all. One of our most important conversations happens before we go to bed it’s where we share our days talk about our plans and say our good nights. We prioritize these talks. In the last 3 weeks we’ve probably talked twice at night. It’s driving me insane because I can’t help but think I’m being too different now with the loss of my brother so maybe she can’t handle my emotions (even though I hold them in 90% of the time). This is someone I planned to marry. I’ve already started saving for our future but now I feel like she doesn’t want me at all. I try to talk to her and she’ll say “no babe you have nothing to worry about I’m just having busy days at work “. I even ask what’s up with work and she’ll say “just a lot of stuff”. Am I overreacting? What’s a better approach to have a real open conversation with her about our decline ?
I've been pretty stable the last few months. I haven't had a depressive episode in months and no hypomania. My meds really seem to be working. I was substitute teacher last school year but I recently found a part time job as a paraprofessional and I am happy with a set schedule. I'm doing so well and I hope it continues. My kids see a huge change in me and are proud of how well I am doing.
My dad died several weeks ago. The death was quick, and he was elderly. My challenges are that I have several difficult memories of him. I am unable to share these memories with my loved ones. These were moments-in-time, and not a repetitive pattern. But, these moments-in-time made me distrust him. As a result, I was not close to him. During the funeral, I heard many people talk warmly about my...