Me and my girlfriend have been together for two years but the last 6 months have been long distance. Naturally I’m not a very emotionally needy person but two months ago I lost my twin brother to suicide. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. I go through stages of blaming other people , blaming myself, hating myself, and even anger towards him. It’s been a confusing time for me to say the least. My girl was being totally amazing coming to Texas to be with me and I flew out to Alaska 6 times in the last 6 months. Our communication was always great and we trusted each other. The last two weeks she has repeatedly lied to me and has been mentioning this same guy quite a bit. Normally I encourage her to make new friends since she’s in a new place so at first it didn’t bother me but when the lying started I became very uneasy and started having all these insecure thoughts. If either of us are expecting a busy day we let each other know so we don’t expect to talk much throughout the day. She hasn’t done that at all. One of our most important conversations happens before we go to bed it’s where we share our days talk about our plans and say our good nights. We prioritize these talks. In the last 3 weeks we’ve probably talked twice at night. It’s driving me insane because I can’t help but think I’m being too different now with the loss of my brother so maybe she can’t handle my emotions (even though I hold them in 90% of the time). This is someone I planned to marry. I’ve already started saving for our future but now I feel like she doesn’t want me at all. I try to talk to her and she’ll say “no babe you have nothing to worry about I’m just having busy days at work “. I even ask what’s up with work and she’ll say “just a lot of stuff”. Am I overreacting? What’s a better approach to have a real open conversation with her about our decline ?
Since I'm receiving my extra 25 mg Seroquel in a separate vial this gives me some degree of control over whether or not I decide use it. What I'm going to do, since it was only a few weeks ago that I went up to 75 mg. is wait until I see if I need the extra, and then add it on if I do. But if I seem to be doing fine on the present dosage then I can choose to not add on the extra.
The surgery went well. Except all the pain. I'm miserable! I have horrible gas pain on top of bad tummy pain. Recovery hasn't been easy. Please be praying for me.