Healthy Relationships Support Group
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So I've been "seeing" this guy since February, or I should had been seeing.
He is from the US, apparently I can't give up LDR's, like always, at first everything was great, I should clarify that we have met in person and he lives right across the border, so we're not that far away.
Long story short: The pattern I follow in my relationships seems to be that I move mountains to make everything possible, and guys just seat back and watch me struggle. The past months have been very stressful for me, and although I'm very happy I have a job now, social interactions give me a lot of anxiety (and it's a sales job), yesterday I was feeling really down by the time I got home. US guy calls me and kept insisting on what was wrong, I told him I didn't know, I was probably just tired, he got mad and told me that was bs, things ended in him saying he was tired and didn't have time for games so I should just talk straight or keep it to myself.
Truth is, sometimes I don't understand why I feel down, and I think if I need time to think that should be fine. I have mixed feelings about all this, I know I'm not giving a lot of info but I don't wanna make this super long. I am sad because I don't think I will be takling to him again, since last time we saw he stopped teling me nice things, and stopped talking about wanting to be with me in the future. At the same time I wonder if I caused this so I could be "free" now that my life starts to take its path again, if the possibility of moving away again was too scary and I subconsciously pushed him away, or if I just simply realized that I was making him a priority in my life and treating him like a boyfriend when to him I was not a girlfriend and definitely not a priority.
For now I guess I'll just focus on myself.
He is from the US, apparently I can't give up LDR's, like always, at first everything was great, I should clarify that we have met in person and he lives right across the border, so we're not that far away.
Long story short: The pattern I follow in my relationships seems to be that I move mountains to make everything possible, and guys just seat back and watch me struggle. The past months have been very stressful for me, and although I'm very happy I have a job now, social interactions give me a lot of anxiety (and it's a sales job), yesterday I was feeling really down by the time I got home. US guy calls me and kept insisting on what was wrong, I told him I didn't know, I was probably just tired, he got mad and told me that was bs, things ended in him saying he was tired and didn't have time for games so I should just talk straight or keep it to myself.
Truth is, sometimes I don't understand why I feel down, and I think if I need time to think that should be fine. I have mixed feelings about all this, I know I'm not giving a lot of info but I don't wanna make this super long. I am sad because I don't think I will be takling to him again, since last time we saw he stopped teling me nice things, and stopped talking about wanting to be with me in the future. At the same time I wonder if I caused this so I could be "free" now that my life starts to take its path again, if the possibility of moving away again was too scary and I subconsciously pushed him away, or if I just simply realized that I was making him a priority in my life and treating him like a boyfriend when to him I was not a girlfriend and definitely not a priority.
For now I guess I'll just focus on myself.
I'm new to this forum, so please pardon me for jumping in...I just happened to notice this post ad I completely identify with so much of it..I do the same thing about moving heaven and earth, and being incredibly accommodating with my life, while my partner sits back, and changes nothing...no compromise, but I turn my whole life upside down for the sake of the relationship...and I never notice I am doing it until it's over..grrr...I get so frustrated!
And, not being able to pin point how I feel in the exact moment someone wants me to? Happens all the time...doesn't have to be with my partner..could be a friend, co-worker, therapist...the difference is those people back off, and I know they are there if I figure it out and want to talk, where as the BF talks it into the ground...until like MsRed, I just want to make up a reason so the conversation can end...
Thanks for your post...I'm sorry you are in this situation, but I am so glad u shared...I really identified
Thanks, Anna
Well... I'm human... and life can be stressful, so yes, is very likely that I will have a bad day again...
I hate ultimatums, specially coming from someone that cannot even make the effort to come and visit me and expect me to do all the traveling.
I am shy, I am and introvert and I have a lot of issues with socializing and when I feel I'm being grilled I have a really hard time verbalizing what's going through my mind, and although I want to change some of those behaviours for myself, it cannot be a requisite for being with someone else,
If he can't deal with that he doesn't deserve you. He has some serious growing up to do if he thinks woman can be upbeat every minute of every day when dealing with life.
((hugs))) sweet friend. You are who you are and you are beautiful and unique because of that.