i am new to this so I don't I really do not know where to begin. I have been in a long distance relationship for about 2 years now and within those 2 years we struggled with the long distance we often see each other now and again every 6-8 months or once in a year she always had to come to me but I couldn't go to her cos I get being refused my visa applications back into the country, but I thought we were able to move through the pain, during those 2 years she once admitted to having slept with someone which was a drunken mistake at that time, the consequences of her cheating just that one time resulted in her being pregnant for the guy but she wasn't going to keep it so she aborted the pregnancy. she only admitted having slept with the guy but she didn't tell me about the pregnancy until a year later which even hit me harder when she told me about it. and that's not all after admitting to cheating with the guy she called it off with him and a few weeks later she started seeing someone else, eventually, she was keen on dumping me for the guy at that time, like what she said to her friend in their text messages " he was the perfect guy but wrong timing" . this was going on for months before she came to see me a few months later but she never told me about the affair. apparently, it didn't work out the way she thought it would go, after coming to see me a few months later she went back a few weeks later and she slept with him again which resulted in him giving her chlamydia, so apparently, her Mr perfect guy but wrong timing wasn't so perfect after all he was sleeping around too so things broke out with them again cos to her he wasn't worth it. and then again she happens to have another affair with someone else which makes it 3 people which she has slept with during our relationship, so she was seeing this guy and she ended yet again cos she was coming to see me a few weeks later which she did. apparently, she had a shaded thing with this 3rd guy which resulted in him sending death threats to her and led him to expose her current address with pictures of where she lives to other thugs he was involved in to go harass her for money, but thankfully she wasn't harassed by anyone, and yet again she has realized everything she did was a big mistake. I had a friend who was telling me about her seeing other people but I couldn't believe him cos I chose to trust her and when I confronted her she denied not sleeping with the 3rd guy or not seeing other people so I had to believe her cos you are only supposed to trust your partner, but eventually the truth came out after a lot of pressure from me and the 3rd guy threatening her life and she had to admit to having slept with the 3rd guy but she didn't mention having an affair with the second guy who she was eventually going to dump me for and gave her chlamydia .
so eventually I got the visa I was working hard to get and I came to see her because I chose to forgave her cos it wasn't easy being in a long distance, she needed physical presence as well as emotional presence but I couldn't give her the physical presence and it was bound to happen anyways. so I came to see it was awkward at first cos I haven't gotten over everything yet but we were having a good time the first few days of my arrival so I was in the recovery process, I was beginning to let go day by day, and then she started acting suspiciously whenever I had her phone so she makes silly excuses why she needed her phone just to get it off my hands and thereafter her phone was out of my sights, she goes to the shower she takes it just so I couldn't see her messages with her friends admitting to all the cheating which I eventually saw the night she drunk from a work meal and she came back home and her phone was in my reach again and all saw all the messages with her friend, what hurts is that after the first guy she began to enjoy what she was doing with no remorse knowing fully well of her actions, she had chlamydia and her friend was telling her maybe I gave it to her like seriously??. no care or thoughts were given about my mental state or my well being but now that I have gotten the visa to come back everything is blowing up in her face now but I still don't believe to this minute she has told me the whole truth cos I got to find out the truth by myself. but I gave her the room to explain to me why she chose to hurt me so much, she said she didn't mean to and that she wouldn't have done all those things if I was around which I completely understood but betrayal is a betrayal. she didn't have the guts to tell me and I had to find out by myself.
thing is she was a victim of sexual abuse, she was raped while she was intoxicated during her holiday a few months before we started dating, which I felt really bad for her but I choose to help her through her struggles and she had friends and family telling her that I would never come back which messed up her mind of thinking which I believe played a major role in all this whenever I got refused my visa which got refused 4 times within the 2 years we were together but still didn't give me an excuse to cheat on her or stop me from trying to get into the country,but I kept pushing and forgiving her for her mistakes and now I am a mess knowing she gave up hope on me and chose to betray me.
right now she wants forgiveness, another chance to prove herself that she always loved me and she is sorry after I gave her the chances to prove herself to me she failed. so how many more chances is one meant to give?? right now I am so confused to a point that I can't decide on what to do next, that's why i am here to talk to anyone who can help me through this please. thank you.
Hi, i have anxiety and any tips on how to handle it or ways to calm myself down
my something is this:i bought a bed frame for a bigger bed for my new room. I also bought the bedspread and sheets. I still need to buy a mattress but I don’t have money to buy everything at once. I’m in no particular rush. I’m happy to buy things as I can afford them. It’s kinda nice. Your turn !!