Don't do it.
You are about to cheat on your husband.
Get counseling and or divorce first.

Its unfortunate that your husband appears to want to do other things than be a working part of your marriage... but have you asked yourself how you have contributed to that or what you have really done to sway the tides?
Youre fantasizing about this other guy. Key word it FANTASIZING. You havent KNOWN him since you were 10, so of course you have butterflies, you are imagining him to be someone who fits your needs You are picking and choosing which quality and paying attention to the ones that fit your mold. You arent looking at it realistically that the same problems would exist.

I wouldnt say you are about to cheat on your husband, I'd say you already are. Does your family deserve that? Is this strange man from kindergarten worth it?

Thank you both. I needed to hear this. I have been carrying this around for a long time with nobody to talk to about it. Though my family is not perfect, it is true that it is not worth ruining everything for a man I have not seen in 33 years.

Have you ever seen the movie "Spanglish" ?? or "American Beauty" ?? check those movies out to see what stupid mistakes women make.

My advice would be to put some REAL effort into your marriage before you do something really stupid.

I agree with the others. you dont really know this childhood friend n how it would actually play out if u did hook up...n what if when u meet he decides hes not interested. id talk to your hubby and let him know how your feeling and see if he can make a little more time for you..also If you arent already, you should involve yourself in some activites of your own. get a sitter once in a while n do u time..

I agree with the other posters and that you shouldn't do it...HOWEVER this should tell you a lot about your marriage and it's status. I would highly suggest (if you haven't) sitting down and talking to your husband about how you feel. Are YOU happy that he isn't home a lot? It's certainly not good for your daughter. I speak from experience...my ex husband was a "late" worker...spent 60+ hours per week at his job. When he wasn't at work, or sleeping, he was hunting, fishing, or watching sports. I was also the prime caretaker of our 2 children. Our marriage ended due to his neglect, but I had talked to him about it. Urged us to seek counseling...and, when it was too late...he agreed. We tried counseling for a month or 6 weeks, and then, I was done. I was married 10 years, with him a total of 12. Since, he sought anger management (another issue I won't get into as it doesn't pertain to your situation), counseling, etc on his own. But, we divorced anyway. If you love your husband and family, I urge you to talk with him and seek counseling. Best wishes!

Shake it up, Sister.
Let your man know how you feel.......neglected, taken for granted and ready to walk.
I call it the 'Mack Truck Effect'.
LOL

Hey..
We're human. We get into ruts and we ALL take things for granted. Relationships take Work...and it ain't easy!!! But there is No Greener Grass...LOL. It's all about water and fertilizer.......or 'feeding' the marriage.

He's a dude.
Think of a way to get his attention.
Get some counselling and in the meantime find some cool interests outside the family, yourself. We're human beings on a mission to find our spiritual happiness and peace. Being a mother and wife is fantastic..but being a better, happier you is what you were born to do :O)

Get your Groove ON!!!
and all the best to your lucky husband and daughter.....

He leaves you alone all the time. I am no surprised that this happened. You want a relationship, not a marriage status.
I agree - tell him exactly how you feel and that you are thinking about divorce. ( dont tell him about the guy, because if he flips out and you do end up getting a divorce, he will use it against you)
If you think your feelings for your husband are gone, then it is probably reasonable to think about divorce. However, kids after divorce are very upset and even if you do end up dating your new man it may take years for her to accept him and the fact that you left her dad, if ever.

I hope you can work your marriage out with your current husband, but, yes, he sounds more interested in the rest of his activities than his marriage and family. He may be burying himself in those activities to get away from you and the child! Talk with him about it, and ask him if HE wants to stay married, that you're unhappy.

If, at the end of all this, and if after you've both tried marriage counseling, assuming he even wants to do counseling (he sounds quite happily married to his tennis and poker buddies), you both decide on a divorce (your child will have to accept this), forget another marriage. Just DATE and be in a RELATIONSHIP. One marriage should be enough to prove the validity of marriage to you. it gets BORING at times!

I want to thank everyone who took the time to respond to my post. Just an update, I did talk to my husband re: him spending so much time away and learned some interesting things I was not aware of. He reports part of the reason he spends so much time away with tennis/poker buddies is that he feels we no longer have that much of a relationship. He reports we are more like roommates than a married couple. He cites my work and raising our daughter has taken away from "us" and that it is not working. He does still love me and seems to want to work it out. I explained my concerns with his very full schedule and how that is making me unhappy. I have been thinking about this over the past few days and realize I could be more attentive and try to engage him more in things. I own that part of the problem is me. I was pretty taken off guard when he said all this and felt a bit devastated. I want to work things out. I do love him. Also, I am not going to meet up with the old friend. We were supposed to go out tomorrow night and he already messaged me today on Facebook to confirm. So far I have ignored it. For 3 years we have been trying to get together and I have made up excuses to cancel each time. I know it is not a good idea to see him given the state of my marriage and the fact that I developed these ridiculous fantasies about him more recently. (Remember, I have not seen him since I was 10 and have only pics on Facebook to go by and a couple of casual and yes, appropriate facebook chats.) I am not sure how to handle this piece. Should I just ignore his messages? I have already blocked him from seeing when I am on Facebook so he doesn't message me on chat. Or should I be honest with him? Three years ago when he first asked me to get together my husband was not in agreement. I certainly can't tell my husband now with everything going on that I am having drinks with a male friend! And I don't want to see him. I don't need further distress. Any thoughts?

I think your husband and you need to go on a vacation, just the two of you. Let your child stay with a relative or a friend for a couple of nights. Take the time to reconnect and remember what is was like with just the two of you.
Also, if you can try to schedule date nights maybe once every two weeks doing something together that you both enjoy. Like seeing a movie, or a play or a sporting event.
I know work, and kids etc can take a toll and of course there needs to be family time as well. Marriage is work, but you both love each other. If the vacation doesn't work, try counseling. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.

Be honest with your friend and tell him you cannot meet him or correspond with him any longer because you need to get your marriage together.

I think you are making a wise decision with your husband.

Good Luck to you!

This is a test to your marriage.. Things happen. Try to fix it.
Your male friend shouldnt be asking you out. Tell him you need to work on your marriage right now. His presence is counterproductive right now. If you cant work things out with your husband then you can resume after divorce..

It was mighty nice of your husband to confirm the very same feelings that you've been having! Now that you two know the problem, and want to fix it, take some time away from work, tennis, poker and the kids and just enjoy some time just the two of you. Some wine, a roaring fireplace...

I believe in taking responsibility for your behavior, and its good that you admit that you could be more attentive...but based on what you've said, it sounds like you're being neglected in a big way and I could see why you wouldn't want to shower your husband with affection for the brief moments he is willing to spend with you. Your husband is dealing with your problems by ignoring you and his daughter. Whatever issues he has with you does not explain why he's being an absentee dad. It sounds like he is not taking responsibility for himself, instead he's blaming his behavior on your lukewarm relationship. The first thing he needs to do is to drop his extra curricular activities down so you have a fighting chance at rebuilding your marriage. It's natural you would want to seek love and attention outside the marriage if he is neglecting you, that is the #1 reason people have affairs and it's good that you're not going to take the bait.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're only human...and congratulations for making the right decision and not meeting up with your facebook friend. I agree with Skylark- a vacation, just the two of you, would be a great idea. Date night is a great idea too. Just remember, it can't be just you who makes the effort. Your husband has to show his commitment and court you again and do his part to get the sparks back in your marriage. You deserve to be treated like a wife. Ignoring you is completely unacceptable. Good for you for communicating the neglect you've been getting, and I hope your husband is on board and motivated to get your marriage back on track. I think marriage counseling is a good idea if both of you are motivated to improve your relationship. I also think divorce when there are minor kids involved is a bad idea unless drugs or violence is an issue... so, I really hope you are able to get things back together. Good luck, hon. I hope your husband comes around. And, I don't blame you at all for wanting to meet up with this facebook friend, it's perfectly natural, but you're a much better person for not giving in to what is easy.