Yah it can get tough, but arent those thoughts so tiring? to think your a caretaker... Im not being cruel here but as honest as I can, but if you feel you cant handle it... talk to your love one about how you feel - yes there will be friction and an argument but its better to lay out all your emotions and tell the truth than to bottle it up and let it inevitably go downwards. Either you talk it out and you two work it out, or leave. its harsh but thats reality. You really have to consider this: how much do you really love or care for them to ride it out with them... Relationships isnt going to be all magic and fairytales, dear... it will get tough, but are you willing to fight for it? Consider whats best for both of you. Good luck with your decision!

Hi, I remember you from your post on the crohn's /ulcerative colitis group about your boyfriend. He needs to get his disease under control with a doctor's care. From what I recall, he's still waiting to get appropriate treatment. But until he starts feeling better, it's going to be hard to connect.

Why are you taking care of him? Is he asking you to or do you feel you have to? What are you doing for him that he can't do for himself.

When I'm not in remission, and if I'm in pain, weak and not eating or am having bathroom issues, I just want to kind of shut down a bit and be able to rest. I don't want someone hovering over. I get that everyone is different and some people may need that. I would just make sure whatever care you are giving, that he agrees to it.

Also, until his health starts improving, I'm not sure how affectionate and romantic he's going to feel. If I were you, I'd try to find balance, by hanging out with your friends, taking some time alone for yourself, doing things just for yourself. There is no reason that he needs your attention 24/7.

I feel like I have to and when his pain is bad he gets really clingy. All my friends are busy with very little free time mixed with conflicting schedules. 2 of them don't even live in state.

You don't have to be his caregiver. You care about him and support him but you are not required to just be around him all the time because he's in pain. It's unreasonable that you have to baby sit him.

My point about seeing friends was more about just removing yourself for a little bit and taking care of yourself. Find things to do that are separate from him. You have to make that choice though.

I think that if you become his caretaker the relationship does change.... I would encourage you not to do this as much as possible.... Yes we have to be there for one another in sickness as well as health however this is a chronic illness and wherever possible I would encourage you to use medical professionals.... Perhaps you could go to an appt with your boyfriends doctor when he's going and bring this up.... I would also discuss with your boyfriend what your feelings are in a kind way..... Big hug.....xo