I know there was another poster recently who was polyamorous, but I havent seen her in a while. I think she often posted about being schizophrenic as well, so that might explain the absence.
I dont see why polyamory cant be a part of healthy relationships - but if youre looking for specifically those who live that lifestyle, you might be able to find some in the bisexuality and healthy sex groups.
Good luck!

In the past non-poly have been very judgmental, so I feel a little anxious about posting things here or in the bisexual forums. In a perfect world, we all should be able to post here about things because they're relationships, regardless of what kind they are.

Your reply was very reassuring though, so I appreciate what you had to say. I'll consider giving posting here a try.

You could create your own Poly group.......and run it......

I can see when people who aren't involved in it can be judgemental, those who can't understand sometimes just can't accept.

I don't understand it myself but, hey - if it works for those involved and everyone is content? Who cares?

If you get negative feedback, perhaps you may want to start your own group but by sharing your issues and trials you may assist others in understanding and accepting that those involved are all human with normal thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Honestly, I think that a poly group on DS would be great because I know I'm not the only poly person on the site. I don't know if I would have the time to manage it though between my main and side jobs. I wonder if anyone else who sees this thread would be interested in running it.

I absolutely agree, SBJ - that people are judgemental about it because they are just plain not educated, and its a shame.
Those who do understand, dont want to risk trying to educate those who dont, for fear of their judgement.

Its like they think its a disease and theyll catch it if they try to understand it. I do not practice polyamory myself, but I honestly feel that we as a species are polyamorous in nature and make a conscious choice to be monogamous (or feel we have to, because thats what the example is in society).

Welcome to the group, Incognita!

Have you tried the DS search engine? Sometimes you can find sub-groups that way.

I don't agree with some things I see on DS either, but I just skip over them if I don't have anything helpful to say or add.

hi Icognita,

i am poly and yes it would be nice to have a group for us types. i run into judgement in different boards here and there, besides the real world. sometimes i think its cause i explain things in a weird way. other times it is the lack of education combined with fear. but hey if we keep talking and living they're bound to catch on sooner or later just from exposure (like a really lovey-dovey sunburn *snork*).

its great to have you here.

Anything that's not normal vanilla will scare people away. It's just like those people who think that you can catch being gay from others. A lot of the fear or judgement is born through ignorance.

I try to be as open and honest as I can be with others. I also try to be understanding of their situations and be helpful. A lot of people nowadays don't have those skills.

I appreciate everyone's supportive responses to this thread. It's reassuring to know that DS has supportive people on it.

I've tried finding a poly group on here but haven't been successful. Just a lot of posts come up where people mention it. I think we should get a group going. If no one expresses interest in starting one, I may take it upon myself to do so. It would be good for us to be able to centralize our topics relating to polyamory.

This is an awkward question for me because everyone responding seems to know what they're talking about...but what is polyamorous?

It's okay. I don't mind clarifying.

Polyamorous is a term used to define what kind of relationship identity you have. So, most people are monogamous which means they're only with one partner. Polyamorous means having more than one parter. So, technically "open relationships" are polyamorous relationships. Or, for a more "mainstream" example - some branches of the Mormon church practice polygamy, which is a form of polyamory.

For me, being poly means I can love more than one person at the same time, or can be attracted to more than one person at a time. For me, it's not about sleeping around (which is a common misconception). I've loved two people at the same time - so for me it's about relationships with people I like or care about.

Thank you for clarifying!

Well...based on your definition... maybe some of us are already in polyamours relationships and just don't know it. ;)

I actually agree with Shine 100% with the fact that monogamy is a socialized value the has been taught to us. If you look in nature, many species don't mate for life and instead have multiple mates throughout their life or at the same time. It's part of our animal instinct to diversify when we mate and produce offspring.

So...yes, it's entirely possible people are poly without even realizing it.

I also think it explains the "urge" for some to cheat, because biologically, we are animals. Animals tend to want to mate with as many partners as possible to ensure the best potential survival of their species.
(Not an excuse for cheating, when youve consciously made the choice to be monogamous).
I absolutely feel EVERYONE needs to be educated about it before making the choice to be in a committed relationship with only one person. I think some people get into these committed relationships without ever objectivly considering polyamory - be it from fear of social backlash, or initial discomfort at the idea itself - and later come to find maybe theyare incapable of remaining with the same person for life (unfortunately, too late to spare their partner).

I honestly think a lot of people are polyamorous and just dont openly discuss it. I dont think its really all THAT rare, its just kept quiet, which is sad :(