I would suggest immediately getting start looking for resources in your area who work with women leaving abusive relationships. They may be able to help you sort this stuff out and help you with putting a plan together.

If I were you, I'd find a therapist as soon as possible to help you work through your feelings and give you insight. How to have a healthy relationship in the future? It's important to know that and a therapist can help you with that but I think right now, you have bigger fish to fry in just figuring out your next move.

I think rbm has some good ideas.... It won't cost money to hook up with a woman's abuse group ... When you're able I think some therapy will help you a great deal.... The woman's abuse groups may well do at least some group therapy and I loved group therapy actually (for a disorder)

Then I would just take some time to just be sunny... Deep breaths and baby steps...
Other then being safe and having a place to live a lot of other things I would take baby steps with...

I doubt you are in a good place for a lot of decision making right now... I would just be kind and gentle with yourself and know that there is life after him and there is peace of mind to be had...

There is bound to be some discomfort making such a big decision for yourself... You have had a way of being for some time and now you're changing that (applause)..... so I think that small steps will be the easiest and kindest to you....

I think you've done an amazing and courageous thing..... Big hug and a blessing....xo

One day at a time so you don't become overwhelmed. Each morning take a good, deep breath, look in the mirror and say 'I've got this', and begin the day. Things will begin to fall into place, in time, but right now it's all new and confusing. Take time to settle yourself each day, it's only in the truly quiet times that the unconscious mind can find its voice (think--no tv, no computer, no radio, just quiet, maybe sitting on a porch or in a park or in your car with the windows down, something like that). Your unconscious mind knows more about you, than you think. No pun intended. It's a good guide, just listen.

As for 'things', I too left with almost nothing. It turned out that I didn't need more than basics of life, at the beginning. Everything else comes along in time. Start researching attorneys and spreading the word among family and friends. I have a horror story about not having an attorney and what happened, which I'm not going to tell you unless you don't get one right away. I made some mistakes and learned from them, BIG TIME, and I know what NOT to do and what TO do.

Anyway, in my state a person can get a $35 one hour initial consultation with an attorney, and the state bar will give you the names of participating attorneys in your area. You need a name or 2 or 3 asap, then make an appointment for this week. And one of the things you'll need to ask the first attorney you consult, is what options you have for obtaining enough money to actually hire an attorney!

By the way, have you ever left before? It sounds almost as if he has been through this and isn't taking you seriously. OR maybe he's just not surprised because he was expecting it all along and now you've done it, and he's just handling life as usual 'til either you come back or 'til he figures out where to begin.

After re-reading your post I'd like to emphasize the one day at a time part. Right now you don't need to learn what is healthy, that will come in time. You don't need to think about schooling! You are getting the cart before the horse, girl! Focus on priorities.

You don't need much stuff right now--women worry way too much about their 'stuff'! Think about what you need when you wake up in the morning, basics: clothing (not necessarily every item of clothing, but for the next month or so of summer), your planner, toiletries & medications, your pet (if you have one), any of your own small family heirlooms or special jewelry, and irreplaceable mementos (special letters, photos, cards). Remember, if you have to live with someone for a bit, or move from one place to another, the more stuff you drag along the less attractive a houseguest you will make, the fewer offers you could receive.

And that's another question for the list of questions that you are going to write up to take along on your initial consultation with the attorney: How best do I obtain my belongings?

That question list is important so you get the most bang for your buck when you get your consultation. Be sure to listen more than you talk, ask basic questions and listen carefully, not asking all sorts of peripheral questions that don't matter right now.

As for when you actually do go to retrieve items, you want to do that when he's gone for a few hours, after all you still have your key. Don't go alone.

You're doing great! You are a very strong person, clearly!

Seriously, contact a women's abuse support group or organization. They can help you figure out your legal rights or at least get you some resources. Sometimes attorneys will do pro bono work for women in need, but I don't know how your legal system works where you're located. A women's abuse support agency can help you with a lot of dos and don'ts for women leaving bad situations, whether you should go back to get your things, if you do, whether you should go alone or with someone, or whether to send someone on your behalf.

Based on the many things you've written in the past, I would not trust your husband one bit, and I'd not let your guard down with him ever. He may act like he hasn't a clue or that that he thinks it's not a big deal, and maybe he'll not react to you leaving. But I'd error on the side of caution with him.

This is such a vulnerable time for you with such big changes, Sunny. It's important to surround yourself with the best people, with any and all support. The answers will come, things will eventually fall into place, but really for now, like SunCloud said, baby steps and take a deep breath. Take care to get sleep, take walks, take long baths, whatever makes you feel calm, at peace and clear headed.

I think what you're feeling, all the uncertainty, is very normal for someone who just made such a big decision. Please remember that when you're feeling any doubts or feeling worried about what to do next.

I did take a car full, although I only have a Ka ( tiny car ) but I had planned well and made sure I had all my ID and paperwork for my car etc.

I think maybe he doesn't realise whats going on, I don't know really. Why would you not contact your wife at all if he doesn't think Ive left? Why the silence? I don't get it. Is it just more mind games?
It doesn't seem finished to me.

I did see a solicitor and she said to just let her send him a letter and don't go back.

I feel I should see him and talk to him, at least try and get a sensible resolution to all this.
Am I being delusional?!

The resolution is that you've left him. Take the advice of your solicitor.

The stuff can be moved to storage.... You can get a truck and just get it all out.
Technically you are entitled to half.

I am entitled to whatever I bought into the marriage according to UK law. As it is a short term marriage ( under 5 years) but Im not sure I want it, I have no where to take it and can't afford to store it.
I think Im more concerned about his lack of reaction…its seems unnerving.
I don't miss him at all.
My solicitor estimates that it will cost £1500.00 to sort the divorce out if I use a lawyer and not do it on my own. Im just not sure which way to go as I can't gauge how it is without seeing him. but sooner or later I will just press on with it.

As an update I have been in touch with Domestic Abuse Services and I have an outreach worker. ( whatever that is!) My daughter and I have talked about getting a house together for a few years until she finishes her degree. Which will be nice. She's 20. It feels nice, I don't want to be on my own right now, and halving the costs will be helpful.
Im doing okay mainly.

Hi Sunny, hope you're doing better now- can't add much to what others have already said here but I do think it's a good time for you to figure out your priorities - yes for YOU. Just make sure that if you do need to meet him / go back to retrieve your stuff that you do so with someone in tow. take care

There are so many questions and concerns when you are in the middle of a big crisis like this -- it can feel overwhelming. I don't know why your husband hasn't really reacted to you leaving. It's hard to know what he's thinking, but whether he responds with anger or indifference, the most important thing is keeping your resolve not to go back. Focus on the new life you are building. Look to the future with joy. Yes, there is a mess that needs to be cleaned up -- there are questions about the things you've left behind and your legal options. But you don't have to have all the answers right now. Those will come, and as you create a wonderful new life for yourself you'll have the emotional strength to face the challenges ahead. You're doing something incredibly difficult, and your courage is inspiring. Take time to breathe, learn to love life again, get to know the person in the mirror. You are more powerful than you know.

Thanks everyone, I am a bit of a marshmallow brain at the moment, but would like to celebrate I built my daughter a desk/table today. It was fun and with limited finances and tools it came out well! Yay for me and my childhood woodwork lessons!

Awesome! Celebrate every success :)