Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
My ex and first love keeps popping back into my life. I have tried breaking all ties and dating other guys, but I never feel that strong connection with any of them like I did him. My most recent ex convinced me to give him a chance with all of my heart. Full steam ahead I worked to fix my, his, and our problems and to let someone other than my first love in. At first he was gung-ho to work on somebody of our hang-ups, quickly tapering off to manipulation and degradation. Befofe I finally broke it off I started having dreams of my first love again. I shoved it to the side and went on with my days. Soon after I got a phone call that his grandma was very ill with a short life expectancy. So I called him to see if he was doing alright. First contact in months. We picked up like no time had passed and I suddenly felt this fulfillment inside from talking to him. Something I wasn't able to get with any of my other best friends or boyfriends, especially the latest. We met in person to kind of give him a release from his grandmas death. We fished and camped. I felt content. I wanted to meet again a couple weekends later but he said it wasn't good for him mentally and didn't want us to get stuck in our normal rut of a dead-end relationship. I sadly agreed, b/c after the relationship talk I was hoping not to have I started analyzing our connection and wondering of the future...but in a more non-commital and numb way compared to the past. I have to take care of me right now w/o a guy in my life. Why do we still have such a strong connection with each other? Will this ever pass so we can just stay friends with no emotional or physical ties? Should I keep talking to him? I yearn to talk to him everyday because he literally feels like my other half and we just get each other. But I am also scared of him or I getting emotionally attached again. My heart is not ready to be demolished again. Thoughts?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
good. You have a strong connection because you both foster having a connection. It doesn’t seem either one of you are trying that hard to really walk away. It’s comforting and a distraction from reality.
With time, you might be able to look back on the relationship fondly rather than longingly. Longingly is a a trap.
you both are probably right. Resuming no contact is probably best. I just feel like part of me is always missing when we arent in contact. Even if I am happy in a different romantic relationship, It doesn't make sense. But emotions never do.
Why is longingly a trap? Shouldn't we all long for the person we choose to marry? Curious.
Thanks
I think back fondly on my first serious relationship. It took me a few years from our break up to be able to do that. Before I could do that, I had no contact with him. It was too confusing for me. We broke up in 1988 and I still think of him warmly when I do happen to think of him which isn’t often. Life is long if you are lucky. People come in and out of it throughout your life. If you cultivate a really healthy sense of self, then it’s easier to
surround your self with other healthy people.
If you want to be together maybe some couples counselling could help you to work out the problems that you have between you
There are more serious and important relationships is our lives that impact us for sure and they're few and far between however if it's not what you both want being in touch is stopping you from healing
If you both don't really want to try and make it work I would break off of contact and move forward with your life...… Big hug..... xo