If you've only been married 8 years and you haven't had sex in 6 years or more.... Do you want to stay in this marriage

If he refuses to discuss that there's a problem it doesn't seem like he's willing to change

I would request that he get into therapy and if he won't I would be finished.... He's not willing to make any changes..

Big hug... I'm sorry that you're being so badly hurt.....xo

I know the feeling.

Does he suffer from depression, have any health issues, etc? Did you have sex regularly when you first met/married?

No mb. He is not depressed and no health issues. He didn't want sex when we first met and I made excuses for him....like I thought stress related to his new job not starting as soon as he had expected and bills piling up then when he started working I thought maybe because he was stressed adjusting to a new position and then I just gave up making excuses. We didn;t even have sex on our wedding night untill a few days later again at my urging, And no he is not gay! I have known him since we were teenagers.

Yes SunCloudJD
It does hurt. And divorce has been discussed. He is a good man other than that so it is hard. What if the "grass is not greener on the other side"? I am afraid to hurt others. Yet what about me? Maybe I just need to accept that things are never going to be perfect? I was so different before I got married....now I feel old, ugly, undesirable and have lost my confidence and motivation.

You are not wrong to desire intimacy and there is nothing normal about not wanting to be intimate with your partner. Has he discussed it with his doctor incase it’s a low testosterone issue. That can cause low libido.

I’m sorry this is happening. Try not to turn it on yourself. Good men don’t withhold sex to punish their partners so something is going on and I don’t mean that in a nefarious way.

I been with my husband for almost 18 years when I wAs 20 and he was 19.

All marriages have there struggles but me and him have a really good marriage.

If he didn't want to have sex with me let alone if I couldn't cuddle him or show him affection by hugging or kissing him.I'd be like good bye.

Bad enough I notice as a mom to a 5 year old girl and 6 month old baby boy. I notice I been wanting more attention from my teddy bear husband.

I don't know what's wrong with people who don't like sex or kissing or cuddling with there partner.

Have he ever meet with a therapist? Maybe there's a mental reason or childhood trauma that hes not worked thru?

Some men hide their true sexual nature, from themselves and from their wives. You may have known him since he was a teenager but he doesn't like sex with you, yet he married you. He may not feel sexually attracted to women but being married makes him look like a normal man so he doesn't have to acknowledge his true self. Lots of people are raised to feel shame about being gay or lesbian which is terrible for their psyche. He may not feel any sexual needs, it is called asexual, but this should be disclosed before marriage.

I truly think it is not you. I think this has been his lack of desire since you guys first got married which tells me he is probably not interested in women. You had to initiate after the wedding night.... I truly suspect he is either gay or not sexually oriented at all, asexual. But it is not fair to you and he is living a lie. He does not want sex, or doesn't want sex with a woman. If he makes this about how bad you are, this is a huge red flag. He is living a lie and you are living a lie. I knew a woman whose husband hid he was gay and they had sex just a few times. She got pregnant on one of those few times and he was always disgusted after those few times. Finally, it came out in the open. She told me she was naive and not sexually experienced herself and didn't recognize the signs.

I think at the very least I would want to to get involved in some therapy as this isn't normal in a marriage

Could something have happened to him when he was younger?..... Why isn't he interested in having sex with his wife?

Would you feel okay going through your married life without intimacy?...

. If he's willing to work on these really big issues that's one thing.... If he's not I don't know what you're fighting for

Unless you want a marriage that's basically a friendship.... For some this works fine... It wouldn't have for me especially in my younger years

Big hug.... I know that this has to hurt.....xo

You must talk to your husband about your concerns. It will not fix by itself you have to be the one to start to re-ignition of the fellowship and intimacy you had with him. I personally would not mind having so much sex, but of you want it, communicate that to him. Be honest. Always.