I have been married for 15 years (the last 10 very unhappily) I did struggle with this for awhile with us....believing it was to be for better or worse in sickness and in health and God would not forgive me if I tried to leave my marriage. What I was reminded by someone was that BOTH of us did vow to do these things. He told me God would be more upset if I stayed and continued to feel beaten down and discounted completely disregarding this life I was given to find happiness and discover all that He does have in store for me.

For you, I would say hubby is probably right that alot of this is him and his unhappiness with his life. The thing is, when there is anger and resentment...that will build in BOTH of you (at least it did with us) To me ...when you said he was on a dating sight and doesn't want marriage, that says maybe he is somewhat immature and simply wants to take an easy out....sure that will "fix" things.
But that is a very cruel and hurtful thing to say to someone he is supposed to love and support through all that you have been through. Also, when you said he sometimes wants to give up and not argue....both of us did that as well most of the time. (I grew up in a dysfunctional family so conflict or anger sent me running the other way, so i would try to make nice and bury any uncomfortable emotion that did come up. It doesn't work.)

i am wondering if you have tried or considered marriage counseling (Christian or otherwise)....or maybe individual counseling? Also there is another group on here that I was recently invited to that you may be interested in....."Worshipping Ladies".

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I do hope you do hang tight to one thing your hubby did say to you because that is absolutely true...NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. (regardless of his treatment of you making you feel otherwise). Imho, all of our trials and struggles do eventually serve as another lesson learned and, eventually another step on our path toward our happier, healthier lives. God bless.

Do you belong to a church in your new city? If so maybe reach out to the pastor for some marriage counseling. Changes in job plus moving and then adding health issues in the mix would test any marriage particularly a new marriage. It’s a lot to deal with, for both of you.

Rmb

Thank you for your comment. I just started attending a new church. Since I've recently moved I've only been a few times but last night I reached out to a lady in the church that passed me her number in case I needed someone. Was nice talking to get. She encouraged me alot and listened and even wants to introduce me to another married lady in the church. You're right its a lot for a new marriage.

Veggie queen
Good morning. Thank you. Yes I completely understand. For now though I'm willing to do some fighting with God alone and pray my husband joins in the fight. The marriage is a baby, barely over a year old. So much has happened in a short time. I am praying for his anger and his willingness to give up and look for easy way out. No easy way out of marriage.

Welcome Tip..... DS isn't a Christian site however there are many Christians here..... You've written that your marriage is just over a year old??

It doesn't read as though your husband understands 'commitment' very well and I write that respectfully.... What was he like before you were married?.... Does he want to be married?

I would look into some marriage counseling if you 'both' want to work on the marriage.... I'm sorry that you've been ill and are going through such a painful time at home.... Big hug.....xo

I go to Unity Church. It stresses the positive application of Jesus' teachings in everyday life.

I think your husband is being truthful with you that the anger he is feeling is not you, IT'S HIS JOB, that he finds it a disappointment or too stressful or not what he expected in some way. And being Christian or non-Christian has nothing to do with it. Are there any other jobs out there that he might be willing to try? Is there some type of career counseling he could seek?

Koolman
Yes I agree. And I'm thankful for his honesty and happy to know its not me. He had another job offer but didn't provide benefits which is vitamins because I had heart surgery several months ago and see cardiologist. He is also working on training for a was stressful job and had interview. They want to do second interview so he is waiting for that. Praying they contact him soon.

SuncloudJD
Yes youre correct... I do agree. He doesn't quit getting the concept of commitment and not just with me. And yes I'm looking g into counseling and I'm going to discuss it with him.
Thank you for the hugs and encouragement.

I'll be praying for you guys too, that he finds a less stressful job that pays the same if not more money plus great benefits and that you receive the vitamin supplements you need to restore to full health. Are vitamins expensive? Seems to me vitamins are cheap and available without a prescription at any drugstore. Or is it the amount of vitamins you have to take that is expensive? God bless.

Koolman


Thanks..no I need medication, cardiac rehab and to see heart doctor regularly

Just thought I would check in and see how you are feeling this week?