Why is he accusing you of cheating? People usually do that for 2 reasons when there is no tangible cause to be suspicious:

1) They have so many insecurities and control issues that they feel threatened when they don't hav all your attention, or

2) They are cheating but accusing you to try to deflect from themselves.

Either way, there's usually nothing you can do to get the person to change except to start saying enough. If that doesn't work, you have to decide what you are willing to tolerate.



Regardless

I concur with that synopsis. It may be time to take a break from him and see if your symptoms clear up; I bet he's what's causing them. I'd also check his phone to see if there's any inappropriate texting going on.

Checking his phone in my world is "Snooping" which indicates distrust..without trust I don't believe that their is any relationship. Just my opinion...

Regardless of the reason he's doing it, insecurity or projection, I'm with yorman1.

My ex started doing that, AND going through my phone etc., and it was the last straw for me.

No trust, no deal. While we all get insecure at times, when you can't share that with your partner and use it to deepen a relationship instead of driving a wedge between you, it's time to go.

I told him to work on his issues because I wasn't going to live like that and left.

He sent me a text after I moved out and my reply was " your insecurities and jealousy completely tanked this relationship".

And that was that.

As hard as it is sometimes, i know I could never be with person or another like him again.

It's no way to live.

Well to be fair, the suggestion wasn't made to suggest people check their partner's phone for no reason. There can never be trust if you are constantly having your partner accuse you of cheating for no.apparent reason, so to me, there already is zero trust. Trust includes trusting your partner isn't going to emotionally manipulate you and make your life hard.

People who often accuse their partners of cheating are cheating themselves. Wouldn't for your own peace of mind want to know if that's why your partner is behaving like that?

I concur with rmb, let's keep this in proportion to the conversation.

Constantly accusing your partner of cheating is often what emotional/physical abusers do. So the OP putting some pieces together to realize this is warped behavior on his part, and not her fault, may give her the clarity she needs objectively evaluate her relationship. Or, as I like to call it, doing your due diligence before he starts really making her life hard.

Yes, let's keep this in proportion to the conversation, and the fact that this is posted on the 'healthy relationships" forum.

Your relationship is not healthy if everyone has to be going through phones etc.

One or both of you has issues they need to work on if this is the case, and shouldn't be in a "relationship" to begin with.

It's crazy.

Clear day I guess we were accused of not keeping to the point...I agree with you and our suggestions should be considered "Snooping" checking a partners phone calls, texts, e-mails, FB etc. People who snoop on their partner I have to wonder WTF is that all about!! If their is a lack of trust then why be in that relationship???? Whether a partner gave you a reason not to trust or it's your own trust issues and insecurities, why be with someone you don't or can't trust?? I can't imagine snooping on a partner or a partner snooping on me. I can't imagine it because if there's any lack of trust at all from either of us there won't be a relationship period.

Exactly yorman1. There wouldn't BE a relationship period.

Thats just insanity. Perhaps we're just older and have had more therapy ? Lol

Of course the relationship isn't healthy. I wasn't accusing you of not staying on point. I do though think your own experience might prevent you from being objective.

I've never looked into anyone's phone either and I'd not suggest anyone do it for the hell of it. I think you're both missing the finer point here about this specific person's issue and concerns trying to get to the bottom of why her partner is displaying manipulative and quite honestly, what I consider emotional abuse, towards her. Sheesh guys, you're presuming there's trust in the relationship that she's breaking. There is not trust in the relationship already. He crapped on that the minute he started accusing her of things she's not done.

She doesn't need to snoop, she needs to GO.

I'm not a shrink, but this sounds to me like a fantasy bond of a relationship. It really isn't one.

She needs to get out of this.

I'm past the point where I care why.

If I'm going nuts because of someone else's behavior, I'm leaving.

Right but people kind of gotta reach that realization on their own.

All of your guys responses I understand I used to be in a relationship where all we did was snoop look through each other's phones Facebook etc... I am not living like that again I will never go through his phone if I think he is cheating I will walk away but I don't think that is the case I just don't know why he is being this was it's confusing and hurtful I just don't understand

When you ask him why he is acting like this, what does he say?