It takes 2 people to agree to this type of arrangement to make the relationship work. It may have worked for you in the beginning of your relationship, but it sounds like that has changed now. I think you need to really talk to her about this problem that you are struggling with. If she is like what you said ('I have no problem if you walk away today') after the discussion, she is NOT the woman for you. Being in a relationship takes effort and if she's only concerned about herself and disregard your feelings and needs, she does not love you that much. Another thing that I see is a problem here is that you don't get a lot of time with her, which means it's not a lot of time for her to develop that close bond with you, hence the feeling of independence on her part.

Well you would just have to grin and bare it- she is adamant ( good for her!! : )
to wait until marriage. If you love her- and wait- you are 44 so you can handle
this correct? ( stern look) : 0 ).
This is ( smiling) not a gigantic issue I feel- just be satisfied with holding hands on the couch : 0 ) : 0 ).
Being a woman - trust me secretly it is so attractive for a man to be able "to handle such things" having a beautiful temperament while doing so!!!!!. I
suggest that you wait because something tells me when the time comes
you may be writing in to us stating Oh My God- Im overwhelmed-she cannot get enough- Im exhausted,Im only 1 person etc-
I feel she is worth the wait and just fill up the time doing hobbies and such
; ) :0). I think she has her life together perfectly and for any woman that loves herself and is mentally healthy- if you break up with a man in a healthy manner- nothing is lost it is just transformed and "she will be okay moving
along in life. I believe she is experienced in marriage and her tactics are old school. But again- if you love her your gonna stay with her- her not unfastening her chastity belt before marriage does not warrant anything to be done on her part- you have to make the decision if you can wait.
I think you can- ( I guess your only option is to ,.......(wedding bells clink clink
Best of luck-with this special lady)

I think it is unfair to punish you for whatever happened in her life before.
I would never ever tell the man I love : “ I will be ok without you”.. not because I won’t be, but because it will hurt his feelings.
I could be wrong, but I am not convinced that her behavior is going to change once you start having sex.
Dating is supposed to be practice for marriage, so if she is not affectionate with you in other ways, then it will likely be the way it is now.
If she makes you happy, then you should have a good relationship, but if you honestly feel like there is not enough, it would probably be best to reconsider.
I truly hope that this works out and you will be happy and well.

Famous last words...

"It will change/get better once we are married."

Not true. If it ain't there before the wedding, good chances it won't be there after the wedding. I can see the whole "born again virgin" thing and find it acceptable IF there was a far amount of physical affection now - heavy petting, etc and emotional intimacy - which you say is limited.

Honestly, from the outside peaking in through a very little window, I don't foresee lots of wedded bliss. Just my $0.02.

I think that it's disturbing that the emotional intimacy isn't there... It's one thing to wait for marriage sexually however it seems that there's more then that missing

I agree with what others have said re there is something missing here..... I would consider some pre marital counselling

Big hug.... I hope that it works …..xo

Sorry I am not crazy about this arrangement. There's a lot of talk about compromise only from you and here she says, we're doing the intimacy part my way, my decision. There is significant commitment involved with adjusting to a new family (something I know) and frequently the other person is flexible.

So, she had sex with other guys but not you. I did A, B, and C, with guy 1, A, B, C, and D with 2, etc but with you nothing . And she says, "if you were to walk away today, Id be Ok." Concerning. I'd insist on some activity if you were engaged, so you could see how things work. I am concerned that she may not really love you.

My best guess, you two break up, you find someone nicer who is really attracted to you and you're happy, she finds a good-looking jerk and they have sex frequently, and she regrets treating you poorly but in her own mind, says we just didn't have the chemistry.

You have already gotten some great replies from some very knowledgeable people on here. I just want to add that you have to decide if this amount of affection is enough for you and the fact that it may never get to be more than it is right now. And if you are okay with how it is now, as it may or may not ever change.

I also don't like that she had this "wild past" so now she's celibate with you.... did she tell you this in the beginning?

I don't see why she can't be more affectionate now, with no sex involved.

My feeling is there are some red flags with this woman and just to advise you that it is a bit manipulative of her to make it seem like there will be all this affection (and sex) after you get married....

There is no guarantee that will happen. So be sure you are okay if it never happens.

Is it possible she has an STD? Have you both gotten tested and shared your results?

To be more clear and honest, which I should have included. We have had sex a few times. shes very religious and the times we have had it, shes regretted it as a sin against God. Thats her main reason for waiting. The biggest thing is that there is little to no emotional or other types of physical affection. She says shes just not a "Lovey Dovey" person.

When people tell you who they are...believe them.

A bit of marriage counceling by yourself...wouldn't be a bad idea.

If you can't afford counseling right now, you can still google "premarital counseling questions" and contemplate them by yourself, talk them over with a friend and with your fiance.

One thing that concerns me about religion is that a person can bend it pretty much any way they choose to. When my bf and I got back together last winter, he was also on this path of “ I will be celibate because sex is a sin”. One may argue that being alone with a man is also a sin. Thinking about sex is also a sin. Being divorced is also a sin.
You sound like a really great guy. Any woman in her right mind would feel blessed to have you in her life.

Taking religion out of the equation, regardless of why she’s not wanting to have sex, she does not want it and so that is that. You then have to decide if that’s ok with you and if you are willing to ride this out.

I actually would not tell someone that if things ended, I’d be sad but I’d be ok, but I feel that way in every relationship I’ve ever had, including with my husband. I mean, if our marriage were to end I’d be very heartbroken but absolutely would be ok alone without him. So would he. Because most people would. It’s called resilience.

I don’t know what her past situation was but if she were in a controlling abusive relationship I can see someone trying to not let that happen again. Not saying you are controlling or abusive but she could just want to maintain control in this relationship because she may have relinquished control in the past. I think unfortunately we get our partner’s baggage from past relationships a lot of times.

Was her previous relationship over for a while when you met her?

I am not overly lovey dovey myself, like I don’t like a lot of PDA or someone constantly holding my hand or having their arm around me. I do like a good like a good hug in the morning and when we get home from work and subtle signs of affection, and we do have a healthy sex life. I think intimacy is important in whatever form or shape it takes as that is the stuff of relationships, to me. So sex aside, you really do have to find connection. If that’s not happening then you may have to accept she may never be that. Because I agree that she is telling you and showing exactly who she is and what she’s like. Believe her.

She is not that into you, She is not on your level of passion.
She will or will not be on your level of PDA ever....Dont hope for it or demand it.

Dont settle, if you are not compatible now you will never be.
She might be a great woman, you might be a great man. Although you two are not on the same path.

IF you cant sit on the sofa cuddled up for hours until your bodys become one, you will not be happy.

You will always want and she will always not care.

You need to be happy and so does she.