To my damaged brain, security and true love are essentially the same thing, but I make Attila the Hun look like a hopeless romantic. I believe that love is looking deeply in the same direction far more than looking deeply into each other's eyes. No matter how beautiful the eyes, those eyes are sexier when the bills are paid. A partner to face the struggle with sure can ease the load.

Just my thoughts. . .

Gentle support while you sort your own, Jke.

Is this the abusive ex we are talking about?

No he wasn't

thats a toughie, its hard to play the dating game... he only wants you when you broke it off? Yeah, I can see why you feel the way you do. Its not a good feeling when you feel your just a "back up plan"
Im sorry darling, your feeling confused with this. I guess there are few options you can considered: you can let him go or you can give him a second chance. Though Id play cautiously with the second one... he'd have to earn your trust somehow. Id say, have a serious talk with him, if you want to give him a second chance, i believe communication is key. Though thats totally up to you. letting him go there will be grieving stage, sometimes you just need time!
hope that helps. try to keep simple, figure out what you want out of the relationship and measure whether you are willing to take a risk, because darling there is no guarantee you wont get hurt again.

He didn’t feel the same way until you ended it... well either he felt the same way or he didn’t whether you ended it or not. It would be quite an aha moment for him that once you broke it off, he magically understood his feelings and needs and your feelings and needs and how wrong he had been. Most people show you exactly who they are every day. We just ignore it because we want it to be different or hope they change. It’s up to you if you want to test your instincts and give him another chance. Only you can know what you feel and why.

Love is that thing which is best described as its complicated. How do you know he didn’t feel the same? Sometimes we love but we have to not push it because we are not seeing commitment. It’s complicated. When we really love, sometimes things are not perfectly aligned. We hang on. We look like we may not care as much as you. But we are so deeply committed and so in love that any misstep in our communications, including body l@nguage, can cause us to back off a little. Sometimes a lot. It’s complicated. And then when you doubt, we then think you don’t necessarily feel the same. Take your own gut feeling. You may walk away based on nervous, scared talk when in reality, you both care so much for each other. Don’t let a misunderstanding lead you to do something without being sure. You may get hurt giving into love, but the reward is worth it, if it works. I know because I’m on the receiving end of a situation just like yours. Read some of my journal. I wish the clarity you need to unmuddy the it’s complicated waters!

Letting go can be difficult even when we know it’s the right thing to do. Actions typically dictate reality so trust your feelings. And then trust that someone who loves you for who you are, who values and appreciates your friendship will come along. Staying in a bad relationship will eventually affect our mental and emotional health and it’s just not worth it in the long run. I understand being alone can be hard but ending up in the wrong long-term relationship or even worse the wrong marriage can be devastating. Be encouraged, my friend. I’ll be praying you through this!