Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I finally left my emotionally abusive relationship of 5 years. It took so much courage. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do. At first I felt so liberated and free. Now I'm just hurting pretty bad. It's not so much missing him as it is grieving the good parts, and also struggling with being single for the first time in so long. Its hard for me to imagine meeting someone new and clicking with them in that way. Where will I find them? What if I get rejected or led on over and over? What if I'm not attractive anymore?
I have an old friend who has been flirting with me on my social media stories and chatting with me privately. I definitely have feelings for this person. We even have a history from a long time ago, a history that both of us seem to remember fondly. Sometimes we talk a lot, sometimes I don't hear from them for a bit. They mentioned visiting my city in a few months. I told them I would love to meet up and they said I should come say hey while theyre in town. My heart is all twisted up about that and the breakup. I'm trying not to expect anything from them, to just focus on myself. I am scared of being disappointed, that theyre fading out on me or wont actually want to see me. I just feel so vulnerable right now its hard.
What makes matters worse, I'm still living with my ex. He's been civil, but god sometimes I just want some space. He never really had a life outside of me now its driving me up a wall that he never goes out anywhere. He's constantly home while I'm dealing with these heavy emotions that I do NOT want to talk to him about. I go out pretty often, but I'm always surrounded by friends. Which is wonderful. It just leaves me with very very little personal space to cry or process anything alone like I need to.
Everything feels so messy and painful right now. I want to imagine that I'll find love again, and that my time being single will be a positive thing. But its so difficult right now.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
It was torture and all I could do was be angry at him to help keep the distance. You cannot heal with this person around you.
I would put my energy into finding how to find my own place. I think we all have those fears when we leave relationships that we will not find that connection again. After a while I start to see that we did not have a good connection and it was not healthy and I always see all the red flags i ignored that should have ended the relationship early on.
If you’re anything how I can be, do not just hang out with any guy that showers you with attention. I have ended up in so many relationships out of desperation to be loved. I’ve been love bombed and I’ve been deceived. Give yourself time to be single and heal. When you really are ready to get out and date be methodical too not just emotional and make sure he has what you want and need and don’t get sucked into just someone giving you attention. I know it can be lonely but again get away from your ex. You are so vulnerable right now. I can be very insecure and I suffer from fear of abandonment so I could have written all the same things after a breakup.
Stay strong and I don’t know you but I’m proud of you because it’s hard
I cant afford this current place on my own, so I'm working on saving up some money to move in with roomates. Which is going to take a few months possibly :( I think im going to start feeling a lot better when I have my own space but it might be a while unfortunately. Its tough.
If you don't need to stay there due to a lease what about just renting a room?
It will get better for you when you aren't living together
I've been there as well via marriage and when it's over it isn't comfortable at all being under the same roof
I would take some time to heal and just be there for yourself
You're right you are very vulnerable right now
You've been through a rough time
Sending you a big hug of peace and support...xo
When he was in the house, he took up all the air. His chaos and irresponsible behaviors, his drinking and doing illegal drugs, just sucked all the joy out of the house and relationship. When he finally moved out, I felt such relief. Then I had to change the locks and at that point, I finally felt total relief. He would come back to look over his stuff in the garage. We had to do mediation to put something in writing that he would move his stuff out. I had to spend 30 minutes most nights after dinner cleaning up his crap in the house and boxing it for him. I would not let him in the house.
These things can be great learning experiences. We have to endure bad situations some times. Focus on your future plans. Try to cry at set times even if he is there in the house. Go to your room and journal and let yourself feel how you feel. I know you have no real privacy but we have to label our feelings and know how we feel to heal.
Thanks for writing about stuff many of us have experienced, or are thinking about.