Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have been dating my BF for 5 months now. So situation is this:
i live alone and I have to work overtime. I have no family basically and my friends can rarely help. Sometime my daughter needs transportation to and from school.
Her dad helps, but can't always do that. My ex fiancé, who my daughter really likes, volunteered to help. He lives only 2 minutes from me.
However, this man is definitely not good for me and my friends think I need to avoid any contact with him.
I asked my BF how he would feel if I asked my ex for help and he threw a huge fit and said he will drive my daughter instead. He thinks my ex is a terrible person I should never contact him for anything.
If my BF was not a single dad, I would definitely have no problem with that, but he is already spread thin. He has 2 small kids to drive all over the place on his visitation day. We are sort of close to his area, but his kids' school is way out of our way.
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
What happened to the transportation company that you had hired?
The transportation thing has been replaced with me renting a house near the school and now she gets a bus to and from school but she decided to play sports and they do not provide transportation to and from practice. i can't join an after school program because I only need help once or twice a week and on random days.
Perhaps there is someone's parent from the team who could help out with the carpooling instead
But yeah, after a while, I just think your ex cannot be an option for anything even as seemingly benign as this. It's not even about him being a narcissist. It's a matter of respect for your partner. When you're in a relationship with someone, my feeling is that you work this stuff out with him to find a solution, not your ex. It sends a wrong message to your partner and it just keeps the ex engaged in your life.
First, give the current boyfriend a chance. Time will tell if that's working or not.
Second, try other parents...if you can pay...sometimes a stay at home parent could really use the extra money.
Next, she could learn how to call a cab, take a bus, ride a bike, walk...etc.
Last, the ex boyfriend wasn't just an ex. He was also someone that she thought was going to be her step-father. Allowing them this small continuation of their relationship isn't necessarily a bad thing. In other words....life isn't all about the current boyfriend. You'll learn a lot about him if he can compromise and put someone else first...or not. (again...I'd give him the chance first though)
However, your current BF throwing a "huge fit" when you asked for his opinion is a troubling situation...
I'm just trying to put myself in your guy's shoes... I mean, your ex just recently reached out to you to give you a bunch of household items, right? And I think your guy tried to suck that up even though he wasn't thrilled your ex reached out to you, from what I recall. But I can't think of too many people who would be ok with their partner still engaging with someone who mistreated them and financially drained them.
Narcissists are very manipulative and the last thing you and your daughter needs is him trying to use her and this type of personality would
My daughter does have an attachment to my ex fiancé... He was the only man she ever knew me to have after my divorce. She feels he is her friend but he is really not.
After we broke up he only saw her once.