Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I met my SO about 1 & 1/2 years ago. We fell in love almost instantly. He is a wonderful man and my absolute best friend.
Unfortunately when we met, he was in a relationship with his now ex. They had been together 3 years. She had cheated on him multiple times throughout the relationship.
During the first few months of our friendship, he found out she had slept with his best friend on 3 separate occasions. This was the last straw for him, and he ended the relationship. One month after that, he found out she was pregnant.
She begged his forgiveness and tried to convince him to go back to her. He decided he did not want that, that he loved me and deserved a better life.
She did not allow him to have any part in her pregnancy and ignored his calls and txts the entire time. He never stopped paying her cell, car payment or insurance.
Flash forward to now. We have been officially together one year. We live together, have started a business together, and have been talking about marriage more and more often.
His daughter is now 4 months old. And his ex wants him to be a part of her life. I completely support that, and always encourage him to see her. She also wants more financial support.
The difficulty I am having is with the process of feelings. His ex wants to pretend I don’t exist. She believes I stole him from her and ruined her life. We live in a small town, and she will tell anyone who will listen. Stories of me being a home wrecker have made it back to me multiple times. Her oldest daughter, from a relationship before my SO, plays softball with my youngest nephew. She expressed to my SO that she never wants to see me at games that it is too hard for her. So he has asked me to not go. If I see her around town she’ll make a scene and shout profanities at me even if she has her kids with her.
I’m worried about the future and how hard dealing with his ex will be. How do I express to my SO that I don’t want to live my life around her? I am good to my SO, I love and support him, I treat him with the respect he deserves, we have built an amazing life in the short time we’ve been together. He feels guilty he did not stay with her for the baby but says he doesn’t regret his choice. What can I do to feel better about the situation? I can’t shake the fear she’ll show up at my wedding or at my house and ruin everything.
Please give me some advice. Thank you so much!!
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
your boyfriend should expose his former ex as the cheating piece if shit that she is
but our culture doesn't accept such, our culture says that is better to hide the truth of a cheaters choices in order to "protect" people & children, part of the reason our culure just gets sicker and sicker and kids are ever less protected
You should certainly not feel you have to hide or sneak around in your own town just to accommodate her . (Too hard for her....BULLSHIT. She is trying to make things HELL for YOU) If you want to cheer your nephew on, by all means go. Honestly, your SO does need to man up and lay down the law for her. If he wants to see the baby and help support her (btw, is she even biologically his?).....He should tell her he does want to be a part of her life. But YOU are a part of his now also. There is no excuse for her verbal attacks.... and if she continues, maybe he needs to remind her of her actions throughout their time together and how does she think people would respond to that?
It does sound like things are very good between the two of you and I do wish you all the best. It does figure there is never an easy road...usually a monkey wrench thrown into things . I do believe her crazy ass is your proverbial monkey wrench. (If she continues ,you can always get a restraining order to keep her from your house....hopefully you will not need that. As far as your wedding...perhaps a couple of burley , attentive groomsmen could keep a watchful eye?)
Good luck. :)
As for her tell her to kiss your arse and have a good life! I went through that when I met my late DHs baby mama. She was really fuming when we did get married, but eventually had to suck it up and move on.
Don't let your life stop because she's a beyatch and hates seeing you or you guys together. Plan that wedding and have a good life!
Unfortunately , he is now tied to her forever and it is up to him to set boundaries.
If she is an unstable person, he can go to court and demand physical custody.
It is going to be a rough road...
I m sorry that you are going through this.