Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I really want a relationship where there are clear roles in place. It sounds old fashioned, but I don't want to go back to the 50's or anything. I just want to know that when the toilet clogs I can 100% believe that my spouse will unclog it. That when the trash is full I know he will take it out. He knows that if his laundry is dirty I will wash it....he knows that if the groceries are on the counter I'll put them away. I get so tired of doing EVERYTHING because he doesn't believe he should have jobs that are his because he is male. Yet I have tons of jobs that are mine because I'm female. It's not pink or blue job.....its Jolene Job and Jolene with the possibility of ten seconds help job. And it's driving me nuts.
This week alone I have done all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shovelled the walk, took out all the trash, unclogged the toilet, installed new smoke alarms, grocery shopped, took care of our daughter, lit the furnace, fixed a wobbly chair. All THIS week. I asked him to do almost half of that and he never did....because I'm capable so why should he have to? Because I freaking want HIM to unclog the toilet! Because I want him to shovel the walk so after I'm done working 60 hours a week I don't have to stand in the cold and shovel! I want him to take charge and take care of his family in more ways then just the financial way. Argh. I'm just frusterated.
This week alone I have done all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shovelled the walk, took out all the trash, unclogged the toilet, installed new smoke alarms, grocery shopped, took care of our daughter, lit the furnace, fixed a wobbly chair. All THIS week. I asked him to do almost half of that and he never did....because I'm capable so why should he have to? Because I freaking want HIM to unclog the toilet! Because I want him to shovel the walk so after I'm done working 60 hours a week I don't have to stand in the cold and shovel! I want him to take charge and take care of his family in more ways then just the financial way. Argh. I'm just frusterated.
So when Dad came home he would park his butt on the sofa and not move until bedtime. He never did a thing around the home.
He is the same with me, and so is his brother.
So where does that leave me.? Frustrated, resentful and bitter. I want a partnership, equality.
Im not sure how to get it either so I was keen to read the replies.
Sigmund Freud says, "Ideally, Men wish to Marry their Mums and Women wish to Marry their Dads!" So there is the whole Oedipus/Electra complex which manifests in our choice of spouse.
Of course, Mum did everything in our house and I never had the opportunity to take responsibility for my life.
My mum isn't a control freak, my brother has never been molly coddled. Not all Canadian mums are control freaks....though his very much is!