My boyfriend and I have been together for 15 years and we've lived together for 8. I wanted to get married years ago but he always had a reason as to why we weren't ready. Either we fought too much or we don't communicate. Later I found out that his parents had an abusive marriage and he just didn't want that for himself. I respected his reason and decided to hold off on the marriage talk because I wanted to be with him more unmarried than with someone else married. So years go by and we started talking about marriage again but in 2008 my mom died of cancer. I was devastated to realized that my mom would not be there to help me pick out a dress and organize it. Needless to say the marriage got put on the back burner again while I dealt with my grief. After some more years, I finally gave him a push. I told him I'd rather be a wife and not just a girlfriend. That if he wanted to be with me he would have to agree that we would be engaged by the end of the year and married within the next 2 years. I thought that was a reasonable request and to my surprised he agreed. Now, Jan. 8 2017 my dad died suddenly and I was again heartbroken. He won't be at my wedding to walk me down the aisle or dance with me. So now I have feelings of resentment towards my boyfriend for waiting so long. Now I don't think I even want a ceremony if the people I love won't be there. Should I be feeling this way? Am I simply misplacing my grief and anger towards the wrong person? I haven't talk to him about this because I don't want to burden him but if its how I feel than should I tell him? Advice please.