Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I have chronic fatigue syndrome or cfs. Back in September I got a cold from my girlfriend and I went into a four month relapse of cfs during which I felt terrible every night. I lost many days of work at my part time job. I had a terrible time. My girlfriend got sick again 12 days ago with a sore throat and body aches and generally feeling very tired and unwell. Later the sore throat went away and she developed a cough.She took antibiotics but did not go to a doctor. She tells me she has been feeling well since yesterday. This was the first day she did not feel unwell, she did not have body aches and she did not feel tired other than normal tiredness from work. Her cough is also gone. She wants to come visit me tomorrow. (She lives 2 hours away from me).I am really scared that she is still contagious and that I might go into another 4 month cfs relapse. She says she cannot come see me in a long time after this weekend. I dont know what to do. I have already expressed concern to her about getting what she had and she got upset. She said I dont want to see her. I told her I really want to see her but that I am worried that she is contagious. We cut the conversation because she was at work. But we will talk again in a few hours. Any suggestions as to what should I do? Is she still contagious? I feel that if she comes I will feel fearful while she is here. But maybe there is nothing I should worry about. I dont know. I am confused. I dont want to hurt her feelings but I dont want another 4 month relapse. I cant afford to miss work and I dont think I can stand the suffering for another 4 months. I feel happy that I am finally almost completely recovered. If I go through another 4 month relapse this will also affect our relationship. We spent four month without having sex or going out or doing much at all. Please tell me what you think. I am extremely confused. And very scared.
I am so thankful to all of you for your help. I learned some important things. I am sad I am not seeing my gf. I hate having chronic fatigue syndrome. It limits so much what i can do. Thanks a lot to all for your advice and support. Especiallly MTZ3. It is good she is not coming because I am not feeling well myself. I have little energy. But I miss her and I miss the times when I was healthy and had lots of energy for her. I hope those times come back.
Your MD is correct, a cold, flu virus is contagious at the onset, usually just before you get full-on symptoms, and lasts for a few days. Once all of the symptoms have occurred and subsided, the person is no longer contagious. You seem to have difficulty accepting this advice from an MD. If you do, I would recommend you seek the advice of an immunologist.
I understand it's important to be concerned with your health first and foremost, but at what point are you over-reacting?
Could this paranoia be altering your ability to reason this out? Could it also be affecting your state of mind which is having a domino effect on your health? Will you be in constant fear of catching something from her every time she sneezes or coughs?
If I were in her shoes, I too would become concerned about your reactions.
This is cut and pasted from the Mayo Clinic on CFS:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chronic-fatigue-syndrome/basics/definition/con-20022009
"Chronic fatigue syndrome is a complicated disorder characterized by extreme fatigue that can't be explained by any underlying medical condition. The fatigue may worsen with physical or mental activity, but doesn't improve with rest.
The cause of chronic fatigue syndrome is unknown, although there are many theories ranging from viral infections to psychological stress. Some experts believe chronic fatigue syndrome might be triggered by a combination of factors.
There's no single test to confirm a diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome. You may need a variety of medical tests to rule out other health problems that have similar symptoms."
My best advice to kill common cold virus' and keep you healthy, is to take the juice of half a lemon with 4 ounces of water each and every morning before eating or drinking anything. To stave off colds and many other illnesses, make yourself some golden milk paste (half cup of raw honey with 2 tablespoons of organic ground turmeric) and have a teaspoon 2-3 times a day.
When and if you're feeling like you might be getting something, dissolve half a teaspoon of sea salt into 4 ounces of warm water. Over your sink, gargle with half of it, and inhale the remainder with a spoon, through your nose, (the salt water will trickle out of your mouth, and expel it) as this is where the virus takes residence.
Disclaimer: see your medical doctor for best advice.
I wish you well.