I live with someone who is in life for only himself. He uses everyone in his life to benefit himself.
He is controlling and demanding.
He blames me for everything. (Even rain on a weekend is my fault)
I dont get affection. Any thing in the area of intimacy is not for me, just him. Hes addicted to sex so he demands it often and if i am in too much physical pain to want it he will manipulate me into it.
It is a lonely miserable life.
I would leave if i could

Im sorry to hear that, it looks like we are on opposite sides of the spectrum. Life is such a challenge. I feel for you and hope that you can somehow know that you are a special person and what you are dealing with is unacceptable. I wish that the person you are living with appreciated you. We only live one life, I am trying to better mine. If we don't do it for ourselves no one else will do it for us.
Try to do your best and if you need to get out of your situation. I can say that I am trying to change for the better and it is taking some time. But we must do for ourselves....again we are responsible for our own changes. I wish you the very best and will be thinking of you.

I was once very unhappy in my former marriage. I felt alone and emotionally abused. I prayed and asked God to give courage and wisdom to know what to do. Eventually, the signs and wisdom were overwhelming that my soul needed more and better. Divorce is never easy. Deciding to do the hard thing of choosing to make a better life is often hard. A better life can be within or without the marriage. Sometimes keeping busy simply keeps us from thinking or feeling our feelings, our sorrow, our grief that this spouse and marriage suck. I always thought keeping busy was good but just listened to a webinar where the speaker said don't just stay busy, take the time to feel how you feel and allow those feelings to come out, cry if you need to, etc. If your husband is not capable of giving you what you need, how can you give it to yourself? I wish you the best. This journey in life is often difficult and we have to make hard choices sometimes and walk a rocky path.

Thank you for reaching out to me. I completely understand you. I am making steps every single day to move forward and upward. Yes it is a rocky road and yes I stumble but I always get up. One of the things that I am doing is getting rid of clutter in my life. I am dealing with 35 years of accumulation. I have been giving, throwing and selling as much as I can. It is a challenging thing to do. I realize that I don't need things like I once did. I have a long way to go yet and I'm doing it by myself. But at least I am doing it.
In the process I am learning that there is life in this process. I feel that this is helping to free me from unseen bonds that have kept me immobile in the recent past. I wish you a beautiful day and thanks again for your kind response.

I was miserable in a former marriage... Really unhappy.... There's a lot to be said for finding peace of mind

I've been on my own or with friends for over a decade now and I am at peace and content

Big hug while you're sorting it out.....xo

Thank you for your kindness and words of inspiration.Already from the things that poepole have shared with me, I feel better. Better about my thoughts, my pain , my sorrow and above all my decision making. It has all helped me become more calm and more centered. Thank you all for taking the time to share positive remarks, I don't feel so alone.
Thats really awesome for me as I was feeling very alone.
Now I'm feeling hope, hope that my future will be good and that I am doing the best for myself. Thats real good...

My heart goes out to you all I believe that once you are married you are a team and best of friends who you can talk to over any problems, my wife is my rock and very supportive if it had not been for her I wouldn't be her today. Good luck to everyone I hope things work out for you all.

So sorry you are going through this. Have you all tried any type of counseling or therapy? My husband and I early on in our marriage had a wonderful experience with individual counseling as well as couples counseling. It really helped us learn how to communicate and how we came to the marriage with some unrealistic expectations. If your spouse is not open to couples' counseling, maybe having an outside person to talk with would be helpful for your peace of mind and your sanity. Praying for your peace!

Hello Mae,

I thank you for your response, unfortunately my husband refuses to go to counseling. I have been to many therapists and marriage counselors even our Pastor.
It did nothing to improve our relationship.
I am doing things on my own and thats exactly how I feel.
But now I understand that I have done as much as my heart needs to do to try and fix the issues, I now know that I have to move on. When a person tries and tries and the other does not...well let's just say I've reached the end of my rope.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, I will continue to pray for the best outcome. We only live once and I can't see things changing until I do.

Please get yourself to a divorce attorney before you do anything further. Find out your legal obligations and rights. I am guessing you may be near retirement age and in my state this can change the division of assets if one has already started claiming his/her retirement benefits. I understand being at the end of one's rope, I am now saying be self protective. Find out how to protect yourself financially and legally if you decide to divorce.

Hi, Annita. I have been divorced since 2006 and experienced similar feelings. I can empathize with your situation and understand the pain it brings. Since your spouse declines going to counseling, at least go for yourself. It will help you heal and understand yourself better. I would not necessarily give up on your marriage because I feel when you open the lines of communication, you have a chance. In the meantime be good to yourself and allow yourself to be human.

I am very sorry to hear this is happening. You can get all the help you need, but he needs to get help too. My ex just left me and my child. I did everything I could to save us, but in the end he needs to be saved. Nothing I did was good enough, his sister manipulated him. Get a divorce if you can.

Are children involved?

Hello...
No children, no assets nothing really to fight over except some savings, thats all.
I am getting things together and setting a time line. I know that in another months time I will be closer to my goal. Right now I am in the process of downsizing everything that I own. Im going thru and getting rid of many things that I no longer want or need. Had a bunch of yardsales that went pretty well. Now I'm starting to give to the thriftstores. Itfeels good but I have more to go and am not being rushed.
I already have another place to live and that is not being rushed either.
I just want happiness and to enjoy my life, meet new people and possibly find love again.
I have a good faith in God and realize that he is helping me out.
Please reply if you have any input.
Thank you.

hello, my name is alex. i read your story and can relate on how u feel. I was in love with a woman that told me things which after a while felt like the relationship was not a relationship at times. I try to change up doing things to make it better but felt that she was tired of me. well at the end of it we went our separate ways, after a while of sadness, i think it was for the best. being alone is not good but in a way it's best to be alone than someone hurting you where it hurts. i also try to keep busy. after the experiences i stay single and hard to trust someone. well meeting new people is a start. take care

I know exactly what you mean about feeling alone in a relationship where there are two. And intimacy? What is that? I pray a lot although I am far from being a crazy Christian. My faith sustains me. It's sometimes not much but it does help.